My Ears Are Too Small

My ears are too small
Most size earphones wont fit inside my bloody ear…
Which is odd since I swear they used too…
I have to use the ones that go in your ear…
But they sound better anyway

My fingers are too fat
Chubby little sausages to worn by life to eat…
I bite my nails as well.
I should chop them off
Fry ’em up and feed ’em to King.

My nose is too big
So bulbous at the end and red most days of the year
My nostrils are too small
Can’t get no enjoyment from picking them.

My cheeks are too round
So fat they be my cheek bones are nowhere to be seen
Though they are quite high,
At least I think they are

My mouth is too square
I smile and I look psychotic
Oh dear lord no toothiness from me!
4 years of nothing but Carbonated Glucose Drinks reeks havoc on pearly whites
Brushing only fights yellow off for so long under such conditions

My eyes… they are okay I guess
I used to keep them all but closed
Until recently they were a mystery to me
I am blue, who’d a knew?

I should shave more often
But I don’t look so bad with a “beard”
Plus shaving is so boring
It’s always September for me

I like my tongue…
Looks pretty healthy
No slimy coating
My digestive system is apparently quite good
No fault in my kidneys
I like my tongue…

A boot and a leg is needed
Someone with strength in their thighs.
I would prefer a nice clean pavement please
And try not to knock out any of my teeth.

My Ears Are Too Small


Coventry, United Kingdom

  • Artist

Artist's Description

Oh my sister was doing her make up whilst at the computer. She didn’t take her mirror away. I try to keep away from mirrors.

I have a fat face, heh heh heh.

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.