THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN: Pengoon Lit Night

“ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN”

“Pengoonlit Night”

By

G.T. ROE

INT. CLASSROOM

The camera pans across the late night playground and focuses into a classroom window where the schoolmaster broods over a stack of papers. The classroom is built in shadows except for the SCHOOLMASTER’S face and desk lit by her desk lamp.

SCHOOLMASTER
F! F!?! F!?!?!?! I just don’t understand! I’ve taught them A through Z on the power of three.
The SCHOOLMASTER peers down upon the stack of papers as she narrates the tests.

SCHOOLMASTERWho is the president of the United States? SNOWMAN IS!?!!
SCHOOLMASTER
Who discovered the Americas? SNOWMAN DID!?!?!

SCOOLMASTER slams her red marker atop the stack of papers.

SCHOOLMASTER
All the kids seem interested in is this… this SNOWMAN!

The SCHOOLMASTER peers out the classroom window as the camera zooms in on ANDY’S backyard and to a caped, unanimated SNOWMAN glowing a dimly lit green.

The SCHOOLMASTER smiles manicly as lightning strikes the playground seen through the window.

INT. CAFETERIA

A cafeteria freezer door slams shut on a blackened room. Camera zooms through a kitchen and into the school cafeteria as high heeled foot steps fade away.

Opening credits and title appear with Adventure influenced music as the camera follows individual characters rolling a snowman together in a winter playground. Title “THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN!” is displayed after snowman is rolled and camera zooms out of the scene to reveal it all occurring inside of a snow globe.

INT. CLASSROOM

The bell has not rung as DEX, STACEY, ANDY, and JON stand near the coat racks switching their boots for shoes.

ANDY
I’m glad to finally be at school! BARBIE won’t seem to leave me alone…

ANDY pulls off his winter hat showing his hair woven in braids.

STACEY giggles.

STACEY
I don’t see the problem, ANDRINA. Just say you got school spirit.
JON
AND-MAN, why didn’t you take those out BEFORE yall came to school?

ANDY stares blankly.

The children take their seats as the bell wings. DEX sits between ANDY and STACEY.

SCHOOLMASTER
Good morning, class. Today we’ll be covering physics and the world around us. Specifically, the three phases of H20…

SCHOOLMASTER marks the term loudly on the chalkboard.

DEX
Psst…. hey STACEY, SNOWMAN usually shows up around recess right?

SCHOOLMASTER steps between DEX and STACEY’s desks staring down at DEX.

SCHOOLMASTER
There’s WATER…

ANDY taps DEX on the arm.

ANDY
Yeah, that’s when my DAD says he usually appears…

SCHOOLMASTER glares down at ANDY.

SCHOOLMASTER
AND-ICE…

DEX raises his voice in excitment.

DEX
And BARBIE’S grade is sharing recess time with us today! She’ll get hers.

SCHOOLMASTER appears in a terroring rage as her face turns a bright red.

SCHOOLMASTER
AND STEAM!!!! Would you children pay ATTENTION?!?

INT. ANDY’S KITCHEN

ANDY’s MOM sits at the kitchen table opening a pink envelope as ANDY’S DAD struts into the kitchen eating an apple.

ANDY’S DAD
Hey, baby… looking good.

ANDY’S MOM glares toward her husband.

ANDY’s DAD
What’s the matter?

ANDY’S MOM
Listen to this…

ANDY’S MOM straightens the letter and reads.

ANDY’S MOM
“Your child has not been using his/her full academic potential. All students have been receiving lowering grades. It has come to my attention these lower than average grades are a result of students giving higher priority and focus to their play in the snow. SNOW is no excuse for low grades. I would like to meet with all the parents to discuss solutions to this dilemma.”

ANDY’S MOM looks up from the letter.

ANDY’S MOM
You and that SNOWMAN wouldn’t have anything to do with this now would you?
ANDY’S DAD
SNOWMAN? I… I…

ANDY’S DAD looks out to the empty backyard.

ANDY’S DAD
I don’t even know what happened to the old fellow…
EXT. PLAYGROUND PRIVATE FORTRESS

Standing outside their fort DEX and JON toss a football while STACEY pulls the braids out of ANDY’S hair.

JON
AND-ONE, you still working on those SNOWHEAVER designs?
ANDY
Aaaaaaaafirmative. The SNOWHEAVER should be ready for construction in nine to ten days.

ANDY lets out a confident yet dorky grin as he covers his curled hair with his hat.

DEX
Great! This fortress will be impenetrable with the right artillery.

STACEY stands up brushing the snow off her knees.

STACEY
And, DEX, I was thinking about picturing some DESIGNS into the fortress walls after school.

STACEY looks at her feet and back to DEX.

STACEY
If you wanted to help…
DEX
Can’t… My mom said there’s some PTA meeting tonight and she wants me home right away.
JON
Aw, slimity-slime here come the Sour Limes.

JON points toward the swing set where BARBIE and her best friend LEANNE approach.

ANDY closes his eyes tightly

ANDY
SNOWMAN. SNOWMAN. SNOWMAN.

ANDY clicks his heels as he chants.

STACEY
You don’t have to do that, ANDY. SNOWMAN seems to always know when he’s needed.

BARBIE
Hey, STACEY… I take it you don’t have any GIRL friends, so you just picked the GIRLIEST boys to hang out with?

SILENT BREAK

LEANNE
I wanna see ANDY’S braids… let me see ANDY’S braids!

ANDY
Get a job!

BARBIE flys through the air pinning ANDY to the ground.

BARBIE
Don’t talk to my friends like that!

ANDY scrunches his face turning it to the side.

JON
I wouldn’t do dat if I was you. SNOWMAN probally on his way now.

BARBIE turns to JON still having ANDY pinned to the ground.

BARBIE
You dorks actually BELIEVE in a Magic SNOWMAN?!?! LEANNE, let’s teach these kids about REAL life.
LEANNE grabs JON and DEX by the back of their jackets and stuffs their faces into a snow mound.

BARBIE grabs a handful of snow and pressing it into ANDY’S turned face.

STACEY appears alarmed.

STACEY
SNOWMAN, WHERE ARE YOOU?

INT. GYMNASIUM

Bleachers are being filled with babbling parents as a small group of children run underneath. In the center of the gym’s basketball court is a small stage with a podium and a microphone.

PRINCIPLE PHOBIQUE taps the microphone several times until the speakers click on.

PRINCIPLE PHOBIQUE
Ahem. May I have your attention… Parents, may I have your attention?

The gymnasium quiets upon the echoed request

PRINCIPLE PHOBIQUE
Thank you. You’ve all been informed of the reshent decline in academic praformance amongst your children. I would like to shank you all for coming here. I’m shore with your ashishtance we can see a great amount of improoovement for your young ones. I will now pash the floor to the SHOOLMASTER who has more to shay regarding this ishoo as well as the upcoming events sheduled on your PTA calendars.

PRINCIPLE PHOBIQUE leaves the stage as the SCHOOLMASTER steps forth to the podium.

SCHOOLMASTER
In the recent weeks, students have focused solely on play in the snow. Their obsession with a fictious superhero they refer to as SNOWMAN has become so large of a problem that some students actually believe SNOWMAN had freed the slaves, written the constitution, discovered fire, and led his people out of the Pharaoh’s Land.

Camera cuts to ANDY’S DAD doing his best to hold in all his laughter and back to the SCHOOLMASTER’S furious face.

SCHOOLMASTER
This is a very serious matter which greatly concerns me as an educator…

STACEY sticks her head out from under the bleachers.

STACEY
SNOWMAN IS REAL! AND HE’S MISSING! THE SCHOOLYARD ISN’T SAFE FROM BULLIES!!!

SCHOOLMASTER
This is exactly what I’m talking about. But young STACEY does bring up a good point. In addition to low grades, there have been numerous reports of harassment on the playground… To watch over your children COACH HARDLEY has trained our class pets to patrol during recess.

As she speaks church organ music begins to play raising in volume.

SCHOOLMASTER
I give you DASH and DODGER…

The gym lights flicker as two emperor penguins step onto the stage weapons in hand. The SCHOOLMASTER looks down to her trained penguins.

SCHOOLMASTER
DASH, DODGER… escort the children to go play outside.

DASH AND DODGER
QUAAACK! QUAAACK!

DASH and DODGER approach a fearful group of children motioning them out the doors.

DASH AND DODGER
QUAAAAAAACK!

The children look back and forth at one another wide eyed.

THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN: Pengoon Lit Night

G.T. Roe

Joined December 2007

  • Artist
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