THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN: Once Upon A Snowflake

“THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN!”

“Once Upon A Snowflake”

By

G.T. ROE

Opening credits and title appear with Adventure influenced music as the camera follows the main characters as they roll together a snowman amidst the winter playground. Title “THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN!” is displayed after snowman is rolled and the camera zooms out of the scene to reveal it all occurring inside of a snowglobe.

INT. CLASSROOM

The classroom is separated into three or four round tables where students are hard at work on arts and crafts. The camera pans across two caged penguins and focuses on a group of Eskimos counting change at a table.

GLADDIUS
That shew was nice of Clarence to offer us a week’s worth of milk change!

ESKIMO THUGS
Haw, haw, haw…

The camera pans further to a table where ANDY, DEX, STACEY, and JON sit. The students are folding and cutting snowfalkes as the episode title “Once Upon A Snowflake” is displayed on bottom screen. Stacey holds up her snowflake…

STACEY
Isn’t it pretty??? What’d you make, DEX?

DEX holds up a ring of geometrically perfect papermen stuck together hand and foot. He looks over at ANDY who’s soul focus is upon his own project as ANDY cracks a smile to himself.

JON
Ha ha. What’s that supposed to be?

ANDY holds his poorly shaped paper rocket ship up.

ANDY
It’s the Exxon Valdenis…

ANDY continues to fly the paper cruiser through the air making poor imitations of what a rocket ship might sound like.

JON
You chump. Why can’t we just go outside and hit the snow? This is dumb.

SMACK! Attention is immediately drawn to the SCHOOLMASTER who has struck the children’s table with her ruler.

SCHOOLMASTER
JON! There will be no hitting of any kind in MY classroom… and you will not use the word “dumb”. That kind of language reflects poorly upon your intelligence and makes you appear…

BRRRRIING! The bell for recess sounds and instantly the children run outside as the camera fades.

EXT. PLAYGROUND PRIVATE FORTRESS

The children are packing snow into a great wall surrounding their castle shaped snow fort.

JON
Poo to the schoolmaster! How am I supposed to even talk about her without using the word dumb?

ANDY
Heh. Yeah, that and the word pretty!

JON AND STACEY
Gross!!!

STACEY
You don’t think she’s pretty? Do you, DEX?

DEX
I think ANDY meant pretty DUMB!!!

ANDY looks away. Suddenly snow flies through the air landing first on JON’s face followed by ANDY, STACEY, and DEX. The camera pans up across three bullies dressed in Eskimo gear.

ICEPICK
What do you lewzers think you’re building? Castle Dorkenstein???

SNOWBALL
Ahaw haw haw! Maybe it’s Ft. Nerdia…

GLADDIUS
Shaddup, yewtew… I gots words wif dease pipsqueaks…

ANDY
You’d better watch out, SCHOOLMASTER doesn’t like us kids using words…

JON
ANDY! Shutcho trap! Choo know better than to talk back to the Eskimo Thugs!

GLADDIUS
Uh-huh…

SNOWBALL
We the toughest on the playground.

DEX
Well, I don’t care who you are… don’t be kicking snow up at us!

GLADDIUS
But it just so happens that WE see you’re little snow-house as a direct challenge to our IGLOOM!

The camera focuses on a giant Igloo Castle in the background as lightning strikes the suddenly darkened sky.
STACEY
It’s a free-playground! And we haven’t yet decided the name of this PRIVATE fortress.

GLADDIUS
Well, your private fortress is gonna be a private snow-mound after last bell!

SNOWBALL AND ICEPICK
Haw haw haw… yeah… lewzers.

The ESKIMO THUGS turn and march back towards the IGLOOM.

JON
Them skeetz is wack, DEX! What we gone do?

DEX
We’ll meet them after class… and we’ll beat them at their own game.

DEX starts rolling a snowball as STACEY looks to him with adoring eyes. Camera fades to black.

EXT. PLAYGROUND BATTLEFIELD

Camera fades in panning across a barren playground lying between the Fortress of Privacy and the IGLOOM. Childless, a snowball moves across the scene in parody of a dust ball with the only one sign of life – a creaking swing moved by the wind.

Behind their wall the four children huddle together.

JON
Any sign of the ESKIMO THUGS?

ANDY looks over the wall quick and back down.

ANDY
Nothing yet. I think they’re too scared.

ANDY lets out a confident yet dorky grin.
DEX
They’re not scared ANDY…

The camera starts to shake and the ground begins to make a low rumble as DEX jumps to his feet.

DEX
They’re just heavily on the offense!

Simultaneously the three Eskimos erupt from the snow covered ground and fly into the air. Camera freezes on each individual displaying their names in fighting stances.
SNOWBALL! (Holding a snowball in hand)
ICEPICK! (Holding an icepick in hand)
GLADDIUS! (Holding a bomb in hand)

The thugs land on the ground and a battle of epic proportions begins. STACEY charges towards the ESKIMO THUGS as SNOWBALL jumps and spins in the air tossing two snowballs (one in each hand) at STACEY. She is struck in the face and hip and falls to the ground.

JON
Gahhhhhhh!!!

JON jump kicks SNOWBALL in the face. GLADDIUS strikes a match and lights a bomb. DEX somersaults while rolling a snowball and tosses it at ICEPICK’s torso. ANDY tries to climb up the wall, but falls to the ground. ICEPICK throws his weapon at the snow wall cracking it – resulting in an avalanche overhead the fallen ANDY.

GLADDIUS
Ahaw, haw haw!

GLADIUS rolls his bomb into the entrance of the fortress.

DEX
Noooooooo!!!!

Plugging his ears GLADDIUS and his thugs make their escape as the fortress becomes an explosion of snow scattered across the playground.

INT. ANDY’S KITCHEN

The children are sitting around the kitchen tabl while ANDY’S DAD brews them hot cocoa at the counter.

STACEY
Ooooo…. I hate those ESKIMO THUGS. How would they like it if their precious IGLOOM was destroyed?

JON
The ESKIMO THUG has no part in our struggle! The Eskimo Thug does not care about the common student… The Eskimo Thug does not care about his neighbor… The Eskimo Thug does not…

ANDY
I heard they wear girly underwear!

SILENT BREAK

ANDY’S DAD
You kids having troubles with bullies?

DEX
The ESKIMO THUGS destroyed our private fortress! It was all we had!

STACEY
Now we have to go back to school with no fortress and no pride… it’s terrible!

ANDY
I’ll lose all my R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

JON
They ain’t got da right! ANDY’S DAD
Hmmm….

ANDY’S DAD scratches his chin in deep thought and holds up his index finger in exclamation. The camera backs out through the window panning up the house into the attic window where the characters have now gathered.

INT. ANDY’S ATTIC

Gathered around an old chest ANDY’S DAD blows the dust off the lid and begins to creak the chest open.

ANDY’S DAD
Our family has quite a history of encountering bullies such as yours, ANDY…

STACEY
I never would’ve guessed…

ANDY glares towards STACEY.

ANDY’S DAD
And I for one, had similar problems when I was your kids’ age…

ANDY’S DAD begins to pass around photographs out of the chest…

DEX
What IS it???

ANDY’S DAD
I’ll get to that… you see… it was wintertime back in ‘73 and I used to run my own little business…

EXT. PLAYGROUND OF 1973

The scenery is in black and white while kids frolic and play the jungle gym. A YOUNG ANDY’S DAD strolls the area arms stuffed with plastic cups filled with snow.

YOUNG ANDY’S DAD
Snow cones!!! Get your snow cones… A nickel a piece… Snow cones!

Three ill-meaning bullies approach…

BRADLEY
Well… if it isn’t little miss entrepreneur herself???

DEREK
Huh huh… Tchea! Want I ta dribble on his FACE?

DEREK AND RICE
Tchah, ha ha.

RICE
Ya mean HER face!

YOUNG ANDY’S DAD
I think all you guys need is a complimentary snow cone… Production’s relatively cheap… so I think I can afford to…

DEREK pushes YOUNG ANDY’S DAD to the ground spilling his handful of snow cones.

BRADLEY
Square! We don’t want no cones!!! We come to collect our share of your profits!

INT. ANDY’S ATTIC

ANDY’S DAD
Ohh… Those player haters took 110% for many years…

STACEY
So what? A bunch of bullies took advantage of you and managed business like a P.E. teacher… what’s that got to do with us???

ANDY’S DAD
Well, eventually my father found out about the whole mess and introduced me to real life MAGIC!

EXT. PLAYGROUND OF 1973

ANDY’S DAD narrates as images of the bullies being under attack are displayed. DEREK runs as a nearing bouncing ball of snow soon catches up and crushes him into a snow bank. RICE runs as he stiffens and slows soon to become a block of ice. And BRADLEY is caught in a powerfully strong wind that carries him into the sky.

ANDY’S DAD
I followed his instructions carefully and powers of the season punished the wrong-doings of these bullies…

INT. ANDY’S ATTIC

ANDY’S DAD
But I warn you children… this is the force of good and right… and can only be use for such justice.

ANDY
Wowzers! Where do we start pa-pa?

ANDY’S DAD
You can start by never calling me pa-pa again…

FADE TO BLACK

EXT. ANDY’S BACKYARD

ANDY’S BACKYARD is fenced in bearing a single tree with a tire-swing attached. The four children are rolling up large balls of snow and talking amongst themselves.

JON
A magic snowman?!?!? AND-ONE, I be thinking cho old man watching too many cartoons!

ANDY
He’s never lied to me about this kind of thing before…

STACEY
Yeah, not like when you’re your sister told you that dog poo was clay… and you made toy soldiers out of it!

DEX
Or the time she told you to plant an entire pack of jelly beans in the ground for candy investment?

ANDY
That was Barbie… just think about it guys… It’s like our own super hero… He could have a jet pack… or an invisible helicopter…

JON
Maybe packing heat??? Like a fo’ size rocket launcher?

ANDY
Yeah!

STACEY
I think he should have X-RAY vision… and stretching powers.

DEX
You can’t forget super strength and speed. This guy’s gone be quick!

The children have finished putting together their snowman complete with a carrot nose and goofy charcoal eyes. They step back and sigh.

JON
And-man… I toljew cho dad a bit screwy.

DEX
Hey… it’s been fun, but we all gotta get going.

STACEY
See you tomorrow!

Defeated, ANDY strolls back inside his house

INT. ANDY’S KITCHEN

The next morning ANDY is eating breakfast with his family, his older sister BARBIE, ANDY’S MOM, and ANDY’S DAD.
ANDY
So DAD had us build a MAGIC snowman yesterday… I should maybe spare the Eskimo Thugs the trouble and give myself a wedgie before calls this morning.

SILENT BREAK

BARBIE
A magic SNOWMAN!?!?! I wish I’d come up with that one…. Nice work, DAD.

ANDY’S DAD glares at BARBIE.

ANDY’S MOM
BARBIE! Behave yourself… and ANDY, you’re father was just trying to let you kids have some fun… even if his head wasn’t quite in the game.

She turns to give ANDY’S DAD a look.

ANDY’S MOM
Now you kids run along… you don’t want to miss the bus.

BARBIE and ANDY exit the kitchen.

ANDY’S MOM
Really! A magic snowman…. How could you?

ANDY’S DAD smiles cockily and walks up the stairs.

INT. ANDY’S ATTIC

ANDY’S DAD opens the trunk to peer inside and picks up the picture the kids had passed around. The camera zooms in on the picture for the first time to reveal a black and white photo of SNOWMAN! ANDY’S DAD picks up a ratty old folded piece of red cloth and walks back down the stairs.

INT. CLASSROOM

Students are busy listening to SCHOOLMASTER lecture.
SCHOOLMASTER
And so class… someone here is responsible for leaving Dash and Dodge’s cage open.

She points down to the caged penguins.

SCHOOLMASTER
And I plan on getting to the bottom of this… I spent over an hour trying to calm down Vice Principal Phobic… He almost had a heart attack knowing there were loose animals in the school!

The children peer up at the slowly ticking clock.

SCHOOLMASTER
So open your workbooks to page 34… we’ll begin our lesson. I believe we left off talking about multiplication and division theories…

Her voice slowly becomes inaudible as the clock tick and tocks louder and louder. The words of the ESKIMO THUGS ring in the childrens’ minds… The camera moves between the clock and the ESKIMO THUGS malicious grins.

GLADDIUS
Lewzers…. Lewzers with no fort! We’re gonna nail you at recess…

ICEPICK AND SNOWBALL
HAW HAW! Yeah, lewzers… we’re gonna drench you in snow!
The bell rings and the children look fearfully at one another trudging slowly out the door.

EXT. PLAYGROUND

The children are playing catch with a rubber ball and are immediately confronted with the ESKIMO THUGS who are all holding snowballs in hand.

GLADDIUS
Oh, boy! These lewzers don’t even have protection!

ICEPICK
Sounds like an extra milk for each of us, today!

ESKIMO THUGS
Haw, haw, haw

DEX
Let us be, you creeps! Go play in your IGLOOM of DOOM or whatever you call it.

SNOWBALL
Shaddup, punk!

Snowball pushes DEX to the ground.

EXT. ANDY’S BACKYARD

ANDY’S DAD walks onto the scene and up to the kids’ snowman. He unrolls the cloth which reveals itself to have a large ‘S” drawn on its center.

EXT. PLAYGROUND

GLADDIUS
Get ‘em, boys!

The ESKIMO THUGS proceed to roll snowballs as ANDY, DEX, JON, and STACEY stand to run. Snowballs fly through the air as the children do their best to dodge each blow.

EXT. ANDY’S BACKYARD

ANDY’S DAD hooks the cape to each shoulder of the snowman who begins to spin faster and faster in circle. A small blizzard is zooming around him as bright lights blink moving in a counter whirlwind. In one quick white burst of energy the snowman jets into the sky and out of vision.

EXT. PLAYGROUND

The children all lay on the ground beaten by the ESKIMO THUGS who tower above them. Holding shovels in their hands they let out large smiles upon their faces.

GLADDIUS
Let’s bury these nerds.

A loud SWOOSH! Sound in the air turns the attention of the three thugs and they look into the skay to see a flying caped snowman.

SNOWMAN
You THUGS will rule this playground NO MORE!

ICEPICK
Who are you???

SNOWMAN flies near the thugs still hovering above ground.

SNOWMAN
I’m SNOWMAN! Here to save the Winter Wonderland… One Snowflake At A Time!

GLADDIUS
Ha! Fat CHANCE! Get ‘im!

With that GLADDIUS throws a snowball towards SNOWMAN who flies out of the way and toward ICEPICK. The SNOWMAN sweeps through the ground rolling a large ball of snow that bounces towards the running ICEPICK and lands atop him burying him into the snow. Camera focuses upon a frightened SNOWBALL who turns and begins running. SNOWMAN wiggles his carrot nose, and SNOWBALL’S movemnet stiffens as he freezes into a black of ice.

SNOWMAN lands next to GLADDIUS and begins taking a deep breath…

GLADDIUS
You haven’t heard the last of us ESKIMO THUGS!!!

SNOWMAN exhales a deep breath sending GLADDIUS soaring through the air and out of view.

SNOWMAN
Now you kids be good… If there’s ever any trouble during the winter… Know that SNOWMAN will be there… Keeping the winter safe and just!

The kids all smile as SNOWMAN blasts disappearing into the air.

INT. CLASSROOM

ANDY
I wasn’t ever worried for a moment… I knew SNOWMAN would come to save us…

STACEY
Hee hee, yeah. You didn’t almost wet yourself or anything!

JON, STACEY, AND DEX
Hahahahaha.

JON
Well, I’m sure glad we don’t have to worry about those ESKIMO THUGS…. and recess is gonna be so much ore of a blast now.

DEX
Kinda makes class drag on, when you’re thinking about the SNOWMAN and not schoolwork.
The SCHOOLMASTER hears these words and glares angrily down at the students. Her words are thought to herself…

SCHOOLMASTER
I don’t think I like this SNOWMAN one bit…

The camera pans past the schoolmaster and down to the caged Penguins whose eyes tint bright red staring directly at viewers like you.

Credits roll on the right column, while left screen shows the ESKIMO THUGS playing instruments and singing a PIRATE themed song about how they are the ESKIMO THUGS.

THE ADVENTURES OF SNOWMAN: Once Upon A Snowflake

G.T. Roe

Joined December 2007

  • Artist
    Notes
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.