Addict of yesterday

i couldn’t see anything other then before, I was so lost in it,
worshipping it and living there even when things turned to tomorrow
I was still there, reaching for the lost storage and everythingthat was locked in it, stolen, raped from me, carted away, the dreams I had of my picturesque world,
reminiscing and reading old things that were dead and gone and buried
yet I carried them, protected them, up my stairs we went,
up to my bedroom, and down on my knees bloodying my prayers, asking for a better tomorrow and yet so tied to yesterday, Yesterday a lover that smothered me with kisses and legends and myths and dreams that never came to pass,
I licked the plate of it and held it between my soul and splashed inside it,
I was high on what could have been, if it hadn’t been this way and what if’s ,
this is the witchcraft of those who linger in the swamps of past tense and call it a garden, sowing seeds in a closed ground, sneaking in anyway just to see something, where weeds grow prominantly imitating roses,
I was cradling my past like miscarried beings I brought here then could not resuscitate them, wishing for the scents of childhood and youth and fairy tales , confusing reality with my life,
I want to mourn for these things and wrap them around me for warmth, but I realize that dead things stink, they are odorous, and ashed away, cold and almost erased away, the memories may flicker, but they are melting into silouhettes that will eventually fall way into the shadows,
I have wasted Now, the romantic, the free and dancing, unpredictable Soon,for the pungent musk of remember,
why when I it is now I see that things were never that good in the first place to track them down and go backward, they were left there on purpose,
separated on purpose like ages you will never be again 20 and ten,
it’s like watching the beautiful steeds on the carousel droop and knod their head in shame that the heroic stallions they once were have turned into workhorses with colorless cheeks and old yellowed horsetails, so
Tomorrow I ride, gliding to meet, searching for My Future hoping that God will redeem my time, give me the transfusion that will save my life, and forgive me of my idolatry.

Addict of yesterday


Joined November 2007

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