Maid Service

I’ve been an expatriate pushing seven years now and when I first arrived I had a small apartment with a cooker, a television set and a wall mounted air conditioning unit of dubious efficiency. But a great view over the mountains and sea.

Some times I would cook, other times load up the kit bag with dirty washing and lug it down to the laundry. Occasionally I would clean the place up because the maid only came occasionally and sort of flitted about with a duster when she did.

In moments of boredom I might pull out the ironing table and iron particular clothes, the rest being washed and pressed at the laundry although I did harbour doubts about having my lovely clothes and sheets washed alongside some Indian’s who might have bed bugs. Ironing everything son allayed that fear but could nothing to prevent white or light clothes going grey faster than is usual.

Then I moved into the Big City with a maid who came in a couple of days a week and did everything while I ate out (modestly) in the evening to avoid having to spark up the cooker. This lasted two years before I moved into a bigger apartment and hired the tea girl from work to clean and iron on Friday’s. A sentimental appointment as I overpaid her because she had four kids back in Manila and saw them once every two years. She was also small so she couldn’t reach many things which meant over time a “grime line” developed on the kitchen wall tiles which in moments of guilt I would get out Mr Muscle and wipe them away.

By now my afterwork routine had almost disappeared, the most gruelling being to load the washing machine (leaving the maid to hang them out) and tossing back the duvet before I left for work.

Now, I don’t even do that. The maid comes a three times a week, loads and unloads the washer, cleans up, makes my bed, puts the shows neatly into rows and sometimes does a spot of ironing. In six months I’ve taken two kit bagsfull of newly washed clothes for ironing because my change of clothing outstrips the time the maids have for domestic duties and ironing; although somehow they seem to be in front.

I have a garden too, with a lawn made from gravel through which grass or weeds are growing although not too high, maybe three inches. It’s been like that for six months so it’s maintenance free. The trees drop their leaves continually so bi-yearly I’ll drag out the rake and bundle them up. Carefully looking out for nesting lizards first.

The most taxing thing I do? Well I’ve got some curtains to hang, a slight drip to fix in the bathroom and take one small plastic bagfull of rubbish out to the bin each morning. I have degenerated into a lazy slob. And who do I have to answer to?

No fucker.

Maid Service


Joined March 2011

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