Sensations

Have you ever wondered how one person can make you feel so much?
What of the way they could make you ache and writhe in agony, as though your very life is being ripped from you, piece-by-piece? And somehow, with the same force, smiles-laughter-joy burst forth with the heated rays of a thousand suns.

Some days, I feel I cannot go on burning like this… my skin, my every cell, has a sensation akin to starvation in its inherant and incoherant suffering. Even in happiness, when I am without you the feelings in their multitude burst forth from me at my most empty and hollow… I am cavernous.

How to walk and talk and emote myself when I am but a shell? How to take on the splendors of existance when I cannot even begin to grasp the gravitational forces of that which you’ve put within me?

Moment-by-moment I grow evermore manic-depressive, though the breadth of emotional array is too vast to be carried by the nature of such a condition.

To apathy, my ribs crackle and crumble… to yearning, my heart knows only an ache. The swells of happiness that accompany tingling fingers rise and fall to an entire-body shake. What has this vessel in such disarray?

“Excuse you, who told you how I’m feeling every day?”

The question, though amicable, does not quell my aching bones. The tears find their way to free fall; in and of itself a palpable psychological notion. My stomach turns and chides me, it is though I have become its plaything – a mockery in all that I am surrounding it. Breaths come no longer easy and light but laboured in my mind’s once-great stead. Turbulent bones echo my sentiments though I choose stillness – when movement comes I quake with a stiffness.

Your might riddles me and though it is unbearable, I would rather the overwhelmed shade of my soul to the shadow you’ve left in my wake.

Sensations

ger dahlia

Eastpointe, United States

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  • solarbear
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