When you're in.

I once was smiling ear to ear.
Happy that I let you in my life.
Maybe my mistake was letting you in too deep,
Or Letting you too near.

The closeness I granted was met with contempt.
You disrespected me, and still I wasn’t spent.
I’d spend days and hours trying to figure you out.
What was all that wasted time about?

Should I have been peering inside my own head.
Realizing that my self esteem, I let shed-
like flaking skin that is dry and dead….
I allowed this, not you.

It’s not your fault, that I was the girl I used to laugh about.
The sad over tender and true, who had nothing really
tangible to cling to.
It’s not your blame nor urging that made me,
desire such a sad, pathetic veil to adorn; my now
older expressionless face. It was I; not you…who felt the need
to chase.

I remember flights, dreaming of you.
Praying at night all my wishes would be true.
That some day you would propose and I’d be a wife.
Again, more wasted, thrown away time!
Hours and days I spent peddling my heart,
yet there was no buyer, never from the start.
I was a lonely vendor, with out a customer.
A drowning lemming, treading fridgid water.

Should I have been in counselling alone?
Instead of those lonely nights waiting for you to phone?
I should have realized my waking dreams weren’t more than
this; memories of how good you felt to hold, or kiss?

Eventually I waken, from the dizziness of my self induced poisoning.
To find my self to be blind, to the multitude of warning signs.
I had turned my back to myself, not to him.
It’s just difficult to notice, when you’re in.

When you're in.


Galveston, United States

  • Artist

Artist's Description

If you ever felt pathetic….or want to feel better about your problems with love, this poem is for you!



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