Good Morning

1. Good morning.
2. What?
1. Good morning.
2. How do you know it is? How do you know my mother hasn’t just died? What gives you the right to walk up to a total stranger – a person you’ve never met before – and proclaim good morning?
1. Er… sorry.
2. Sorry? Ha! Bit late now innit? You’ve already said it. You should have thought about it before you said a word. What’s wrong with a nod? Why couldn’t you have sat next to me on this train and just nodded?
1.
2. Good morning is a statement. It’s like issuing a decree. It’s like stating a fact. What if I don’t think it’s a good morning? Why couldn’t you have said you think it’s a good morning and left it to me to decide whether it is or not? It’s intimidating, that’s what it is. It’s telling somebody they don’t have a choice but to agree with what you think. It’s a bloody disgrace, that’s what it is.
1. Sorry. I take it back.
2. Too bloody late for that now, mate. You’ve said it. Good morning, you said as though I don’t have any say in the matter. No choice. We live in a democracy in case you hadn’t noticed. Morning would’ve have been acceptable… morning without the good. I can accept morning by itself because that’s what it is… morning. It’s the good part that I have a problem with. But no, you had to take matters into your own hands and add good.
1. Please accept my apology.
2. That’s what they all say. Please accept my apology. Blah, blah, blah. Well, if people didn’t run around saying good morning all the time they wouldn’t have anything to apologize for! Make sense? It’s misrepresentation. People are put in jail for that kinda thing!
1.
2. Do you realize how many people in the world die every day? Millions. And here’s you running around saying good morning.
1.
2. Do you have any idea how many people have died since we started this conversation?
1.
2. Probably hundreds if not thousands. Somewhere in the world there are people shattered because they’ve just lost a loved one, and here’s you with your good morning shit. What’s the matter with you? Have you no feelings? No sensitivity?
1. Excuse me, we’re coming into my stop. I have to get off here.
2. Me too.
1. Oops! I made a mistake. This is not my stop at all.
2. What’s wrong with this stop?
1. Nothing… nothing at all. It’s a perfectly good stop, it’s just that it’s not my stop.
2. But you said it was your stop.
1. I made a mistake.
2. That’s your second mistake today, mate. First you said good morning and then you didn’t recognize your station. You’re not well upstairs, mate. You need help.
1. Yes, well thanks for the diagnosis and have a nice day.
2. What do you mean have a nice day? What gives you the right to tell me to have a nice day? This is a democracy in case you hadn’t noticed!
1. Aren’t you getting off at this stop?
2. What? And miss the rest of this conversation?
1.
2. You’ve gone a bit pale, mate. You feel alright?

Good Morning

Gary Kelly

Taree, Australia

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Never take anything for granted.

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