Life is hard

Life is hard. Let’s face it, even sucking in your next breath takes effort. You may do it subconciously, but it requires muscles, they do work, they soak up energy, they have to recover…

And, the air you inhale is literally stolen from every other living thing that might have used it.

Why? Why do it?

I look at my Dad – 81, had a heart attack, several strokes, open heart surgery, massive aneurisms replaced with nylex hose, a pacemaker installed and arteries inflated with little balloons. Still he keeps dragging in one more breath. His heart still beats one more time – although I reckon that, before every beat, that heart spends a millisecond thinking “Shit, can I really be shagged doing this again?”

But it does.

Why?

That has to be the biggest and most important question we can ask ourselves, doesn’t it? Without an answer, why bother sucking in that next lungful?

Personally I do it because I’m so insanely curious. There is so much to see, so much to hear, learn, try, feel, taste, experience. I will happily steal that air, that food, that space to keep me going. I cannot imagine ever actually wanting to say “Yep, that’s it. Don’t want to go anymore. I’ll just stop now…”

I never want to die. My gravestone will read “Hang on for fuck’s sake! I’m not finished yet…”

Don’t get me wrong – I’m perfectly aware of the bad in this world – pollution, violence, apathy, loss, grief, heartache, loneliness (affects people the most when they live in big cities full of people – go figure). I’ve had heaps of all of ’em.

But.

While I have eyes I can see the sun come up, read fabulous stories and informative articles, stare at Hubble telescope images and imagine travelling through them.

While I have ears I can listen to people talking and laughing, float in music that flows me through every emotion imaginable and sigh at the throbbing sensuality of those massive diesel train engines…

While I have a body I can run adrenaline through it just for the rush, push it to its limits just to feel that addictive pain and feel the sweat, the skin and the movements of women under me on steamy summer nights.

My next breath brings me everything I desire. My life’s mantra is “Just one more…”

Journal Comments

  • Paul Louis Villani
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  • friartuck
  • FishGnome