l wish with all my heart l didn't have to tell you

Yesterday was exactly 1 month since my mum’s funeral & I have had much to deal with since coming home from Brisbane. For those who don’t know my mum suffered schizophrenia most of her life but for the last five years she settled down beautifully in Brisbane with 24 hour mental health support, mum lived among many people who suffered mental illness including her partner Brian. Mum had been fighting cancer for just over 12 months & the chemotherapy seemed to be working very well until she received news that it had travelled to her stomach & liver, mum made the decision to take her own life she was only 59. Mum left it up to her partner Brian to take care of her funeral costs etc & took out an insurance plan. Now the sad news is Brian one week later Brian also took his own life but the to add more hurt mums money now goes to Brian’s family to spend however they wish & l have been left with the bill of $7500 l am still dealing with the ridiculous heart breaking drama of trying to retrieve the money to pay for her funeral but my beautiful aunts have now taken over for me. I was told that l couldn’t have mums ashes until the account was paid but they did see how hurt l was & sent her down to me. I was hoping l could set her ashes free over the Valley with my other sister who couldn’t attend her funeral but her uninsured house burnt down 2 weeks ago (not that is was even close to liveable dilapidated would be an understatement & probably a blessing in disguise) but now l can’t find her or my nephews. I do know that the Salvation Army & the support team for her mental illness are looking after them. So as you can see it’s been a very tuff month & my reason for being off redbubble. Over the last week l have been jazzing up my bubble front page & culling some of my work which was a huge job especially having over 800 pieces of art but l have almost all now in categories so if you’re just into my bubbles then that’s the button you push & if you don’t want to see my boobs then that’s the button you don’t push. I mostly did it so l could have a more professional look for when l hold my first solo exhibition in October. I realise l haven’t gott’en around to many & l hugely apologise but l know how wonderfully forgiving you lot are & l have been watching you all from a distance. So many of you have been so incredibly supportive through everything that l have been through & l so love you for it, l doubt l could’ve done it without the love & support that l have received from you & my boys. I wish with all my heart that l didn’t have to bring more bad news but l do & for those who have become my very dearest dearest friends on the bubble l am so so sorry to do this but as l may be away for some time it’s just easier for me to tell you all at once rather than write such sadness over & over again. Last week l discovered a lump in my breast so this week has been full of specialist appointments biopsy’s etc. Yesterday while sitting in the doctors room with hubby & filled with only positive thoughts & expecting nothing more than a cyst, the devastating news hit like a tonne of bricks l was told of not just one cancer but 2 & the probability that it has spread elsewhere it sent us both into shock. Then came the news of a mastectomy possibly 2 & the loss of my hair.
Right now l have no idea what else to say except l am a tuff kid & l know many others get through this & l refuse to give up my dream of having my own art show it’ll just have to be postponed until l can afford it & instead of just raising money for mental health l’ll raise money for the cancer foundation too. l haven’t broken the news to my beautiful boys yet which is killing me to know how hurt they will be l am not going to tell them until Friday night as my eldest just started his first part time job & l need him to focus on that & not on me l set up counselling for them through their schools today. l know all l can do is be strong & be honest & somehow we’ll get through this together. My operation was scheduled for Monday but they have allowed me a little more time & the mastectomy will happen on Sept 29th , they won’t how much the cancers have spread until the tests come back from the operation. In the mean time l will still focus on my art my boys & being as positive as l can be l truly adore all of you & will pop in on you all over the next week or so & l have been keeping busy with my photography of birds & clouds that l can’t wait to show you well l guess that’s it for now and l promise to keep you updated as things happen. Your forever loving flip XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I just have to say how thrilled l am having that so much of my work has been featured over the last few days l have had 7 pieces featured by art in maths, colour vibrant red, digital abstracts, sticky bubbles, ebony & lvory & the greatest honour was a tribute by Julie Marks l am so humbled by you all THANKYOU with a thousand kisses XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

l wish with all my heart l didn't have to tell you

flipteez

Broadford, Australia

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