Horror dates pt1

This happened to me years ago, I remembered it the other day for some unknown reason.
I was single at the time and had been set up with this nice looking blonde girl (we’ll just refer to her as Jane Doe) by a mate and his girlfriend. We met and exchanged numbers and agreed to go out.
One night during the week we agreed to go up to the local pub for a drink and maybe a game of darts. I arrived in the front bar a bit early and grabbed a beer. Jane rocked up a little late and with her 6year old son in tow. “Hmmm..” I thought, followed by “whatever, I can deal with kids”.
We ordered some drinks and seeing as the dart board was busy started a conversation. I cant recall what we talked about but the whole time this poor little kid was bored out of his brains and pestered mum for chips and attention. I felt a bit sorry for him and tried amusing him which worked for a whole five minutes. She got quite irate a few times with him and snapped at him drawing the attention of a few other patrons. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable at this stage and ordered another beer.
About this time she’d taken him to the toilet, I noticed a good looking young couple who’d just arrived having a few hushed words to each other. The guy (I’ll call him Merc as he looked like the singer of Thirsty Merc) noticed me looking, sat down at the bar next to me and said something like “women who needs ‘em eh?”
“Yeah I guess …” I replied. He started telling me how high maintenance she was and we started up a conversation. By this time Jane had returned and we introduced ourselves to Merc and his girlfriend (I’ll call her Morticia as she looked a little bit dead).
Anyway the conversation and drinks flowed, and eventually Merc invited us back to there place to play pool and have a few vodka’s. I was cool with it and Jane was too, surprisingly happy to drag the poor little feller along which spun me out a bit.
We followed them back to their place and once inside I noticed that although it looked a bit middle class on the out side they definitely had a bit of cash to splash on the inside. We got into a few vodka’s and games of pool and Jane was offered a bed for the lad to sleep in till we left. Jane and Morticia seemed to be getting along like a house on fire while I chatted with Merc about stuff. He showed me around his plush house, his pool, his Congo drums and we had a bash on them. He kept the vodka flowing freely and we all soon got fairly drunk, so they offered for us to stay.
While the girls were getting along well I was in the kitchen with Merc getting drinks when he started telling me about a similar situation when he and his friend were in the kitchen getting drinks and their girlfriends started going for it with each other in the next room. Fair enough I thought not really believing it. He then added that he and his mate had spied on them and proceeded to jerk off while doing so. This is when I started thinking this dude’s a bit weird!
I faked amusement and grabbed my drink and went back into the lounge. We all sat down and a bottle of Zambuca was placed on the coffee table. Things got hazier and weirder from there on in. I don’t remember clearly much of what happened next but I do remember Merc being a bit drunk and trying to playfully wrestle me. Not really being into that I pushed him off a couple of times laughing but getting more weirded out. Then he jumped on me saying “come on man gives a kiss!” and tried to give me a big tonguey! “Dude!” I exclaimed, “I’m really not into this!” trying to be polite.
About this time Morticia had removed all her clothes and was just standing there looking a bit strange. I was gawking at her as although she was a bit pale and pasty she had a great body and set of breasts, I couldn’t help myself, and it was all really spinning me out. Jane noticed me looking and started yelling at me “Oh yeah she’s got great tits, she hasn’t had a bloody kid suck the life out of them! You want to see tits? Here then look at them! Look at them!” ripping open her top and displaying a tit. While she was yelling Merc had started on Morticia “What the hell are you doing?’ she stormed off and he followed her. Jane stormed off somewhere too. I just sat there bewildered to buggery.
Feeling like I should do a runner but being a bit pissed I figured I wasn’t going anywhere. I grabbed a shot of vodka, downed it and fell asleep on the couch.
I woke later on and things were very quiet. Then I heard giggling and noticed feet sticking out from under a blanket behind the couch, it was Jane and Morticia. I pulled of the blanket, Jane had her top off.
“Hmmm…” I thought, “I’ve had enough of this, these people are weirdo’s!” Now was the time to do a runner, then I had thoughts of the little boy, and Merc the weirdo in the house. I ran to the room the kid was in and was relieved to find him alone. I gently picked him up out of bed not waking him, carried him out to the lounge and confronted Jane “Hey I’m going I’ll give you a lift lets go NOW!”
We got in my car and I drove them home, relieved to get rid of her. I went home and got stoned, and reflected.

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