the tower

I had built a wall of bricks high around my heart
you saw my wall but it did not deter you
you worked slowly,taking one break at a time
you laboured moving my bricks and
taking them away from my heart and into a pile to the side
then slowly and surely you built the bricks up under me.
You moved my wall.. you boosted me up with it
It was no longer my protection, it was my help to see me & the world around me

and then you stopped.

sometimes you borrowed my bricks, but i was happy to share them with my lover
but then you stopped
you had secretly hidden those bricks,
they now form a wall in front of your heart
you stole my bricks to protect yourself from me
I didn’t know that I was dangerous
I’ve let you down, and down and down
i know that, i understand that, but i keep trying, pushing

you know me, you know my innermost heart
and yet you refuse to acknowledge what you know
you had my love, now you want my friendship
but friendship is a sheltering tree
it should be there for both of us
I feel like I’m constantly out in the rain..
but it’s not rain that falls upon my cheek
it is my tears.. they never seem to dry

I never used to be a fighter.
I am a lover, a friend, a carer, a giver
but now i am a fighter
i agitate
i frustrate
i anger
this is not me, not the me that I was proud to be

I may have not known love as you believe I should
I may have had a wall around my heart
but I was not angry,i was not sad
I was safe, protected, warm

It’s cold now, it’s been cold for awhile.
And so, not one by one, but all at once
I am rebuilding my wall.
It is safer that way.
And you will be on the otherside
because i cannot give you the key
I’m sorry, i kept reaching out with it,but you didn’t want it

the tower

fillette

Joined December 2007

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Artist's Description

ode to a love lost

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