Lost In The Chaos (29/11/2009)

I am here,
Thinking hard
What is going on?
I don’t have an answer
To that.
My world
Has been turned
Upsidedown.

Once upon a time
I was comfy in my life
With my heart
locked up tight.
Then one day
You just came
Out of the blue,
And rattle my cage,
And broke down
The door,
And pull mi out
Of my zombie-like mode.

You made me feel,
I don’t know
If that is good,
I am so lost,
I don’t know
What to do.

Once upon a time
I made decisions
In my life
Just for me,
I was alone.
Now my heart
Is full
Of so much love
For you.
And my decisions are
No longer mine;
They include two.

I no longer have
Control of my life
And I am scared,
Even terrified.
What is going on?
Again and again
I ask.

I don’t have
The answers,
Maybe I never will…
Maybe that
Is what love is;
This uncertainty.

I get so frighten…
I push you away…
I want you to go…
But I want you
To stay…

And amid all this chaos
All I want to hear
Is your soft voice whisper
Gently in my ear;
“You are safe,
I am here”

The world is so big!
The world is so vast!
I feel so exposed
Out here in the light!
And among all this space
All I long for
Is your arms
Holding me tight
Protective and warm.

What to do now,
You are gone…
You might never
Come back,
I pushed you away
Once again…

And this time
Might be the end,
And I am alone
With my love…

And again
I will cry.

Written by Fabiana Uteda

Lost In The Chaos (29/11/2009)

Fabiana

Shepparton East, Australia

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