Iceland the land of vikings and stray fireworks!

Well I say read this if you want to be astounded…
I will write different experiences on different entries… But here it goes…
My first impression of Iceland was that of trying to not have a heart attack while the plane tried to land in 70 mile an hour winds. You can imagine what it was like, I felt like the bubble in a shaken bottle of coke… I was the little bubble rising to the surface and popping as I overflowed… Anyway…
Next came Iceland’s airport where fifty year old men in uniforms rode scooters at speed and wove through the passengers very straight faced. Every nown again they would say beep beep! Or more hurdy gurdy beep gher beep ger-her… (That was the Icelandic translation). Anyway out on the forecourt I got the fly bus, now Ironically the wind was so strong I almost flew past it. I wondered whether the name was predictive or just lucky. Anyway night fell at four o clock and it descended like a brick from a tall story building. When night fell the temperature dropped and I could feel that nostril icicle forming rapidly…
Once I arrived at the bus station I was transferred to a smaller bus that could navigate the narrow streets of Rekjavik ( I might have mis-spelled it, but could say it well after a cider). There I arrived at the hotel, a cosy guest house run by a family.. Lovely, sweet, free hot chocolate and… well then there was my room. To say it was large was a lie. If I tried to swing a cat I would have hit the wall with my hand, the cat would have purred and suffocated me because there was no room for it to be swung, launched or kept… In fact the bathroom was larger and that had a toilet where you could shower whilst sitting on the loo. It is always interesting when you make such discoveries by mistake! The shower itself was designed for a person half my width. As for the shower curtain, I know what it is like to become contained in a cocoon. Although I never came out the butterfly… Shame. Now other than that there was an interesting aroma that goes with the water in iceland I like to call it l’eau de egg or if you want full french L’eau to oeuf. Alternatively you could call it a smell that resembled an upset dog’s stomach. Later when I asked about this everyone said they couldn’t smell it on their skin. Where do they smell it then? And how come when I sniffed my hair it smelled like a five year old omlette? Who knows, I did not want to get into this because I thought it better to make a pleasant impression and then surprise everyone later.
Anyway after the bathroom adventure I passed out for a while and then lo and behold a whole load of fireworks went off. It was the 6 o’clock in the evening and time for the warm up for the coming launch. Now what was amazing was my hotel was located right where everything was going to go off… With a bang. I could step outside the door, dodge a firework collide with a drunk and trip over a dog without even trying- marvellous! Not many people can say that when they’re holiday.
So to the explosives. Now in most countries a firework display is where you have fireworks and no people, a barrier, a gap, and then the explosive… Oh no- this is viking land. The people live hard, drink a lot, shout loudly and eat fish… So who would expect a health and safety officer standing to one side saying actually son you might get burned… oh no. From six o’clock it was apparent you needed to carry a portable fire extinguisher. Not just for yourself either. The first fireworks exploded, then more exploded until the explosions become more frantic until midnight and that was when the fun began. Numerous people launched fireworks from their hands. the wind picked up and there it was: a fire was blown over onto a huge set of fireworks. The fireworks fell sideways and then bang bang bang!. Fireworks were blasting along the ground, shooting into the crowd and… well everyone cheered. They loved it. Then while I was photographing I noticed something flying towards me. It was a rocket. Yes a rocket. The blooming thing collided with my leg. My reflex action was influenced by Ninjas so I jumped and booted (kicked it hard) towards an uncrowded area. Unfortunately it rebounded off a wall, spun and landed in the crowd and exploded. They all cheered. I know… it was insane. Then it began to snow, the whole area became uncontrollable. I then came to the conclusion I needed full body armour and the closest thing was a dust-bin (garbage thing) So a created a sturdy baracade to use as shelter for the next rain of fire. Anyway it was whilst leaping a yelping dog and avoiding the drunk lighting a fuse to a rocket that I met my two new Australian buddies. As I dived for my newly constructed shelter they did too. At one point we discussed whether it was possible to make a periscope. Obviously we did not have adequate mirrors although in the hotel hall there was potential. Although did we want to break out cover, fight through a crowd of what resembled sumo-suited people to spend time making a periscope? No. So finally the pair joined me in the what is commonly known as the photographic dash. This happens only when you have one photo left on a memory card and you want to get something memorable. So on the count of three the three of us ran from cover to take our final imagery. And what was it? Well it turns out every year the icelandics take great pleasure in trying to shoot the belfry of the church. So that was what they were doing, but as hard as I tried I could not get the shot. So settled for a red explosion amongst the crowd…. So there we are- new year. My new pals and I went and drank free hot chocolate until we were almost sick… Oh yes…. That was a new year to remember. It was almost as good as when I danced on a stage in front of 40000 Mexicans, met a multimillionaire. Fell down a hole under a palm tree and then was convinced I had missed the ship I was working on at the time… But that is another story. There is more to come from Iceland and the all fours embarrassment saga!
Oh and a young Icelandic gir,l who could not remember the word for fireworks, asked us if we enjoyed the bom bings! That turned some heads I can tell you!

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