THE VULGARIANS songs 9 & 10 "New Cop in Town"

(Enter OFFICER NIBLOCK)

Song 9:
New Cop in Town

MARTY:
Damn it who called the cops?

NIBLOCK:
I’m here about a stripper that’s missing

MARTY:
Go see the guy in the pinstripe suit
In the corner there moaning and pissing

STEVE:
Marty help me find her
Help me bring her home

MARTY:
Sorry Steve, you’re on your own

STEVE:
What the hell do I pay you for?

MARTY:
Bouncing at your titty bar
Not chasing down your run away fling

(To NIBLOCK)

STEVE:
Officer arrest the man!

NIBLOCK:
What’s the charge?

STEVE:
Loitering

CHORUS:
We all want to know about the new cop in town
With a rep for corruption and chasing women around
They say his last town said, “Quit or be fired”
Have to ask the council why the Hell was he hired?

MARTY:
Your reputation precedes you I fear

NIBLOCK:
Don’t believe everything you hear

STEVE:
Stop this messing around
I called because my headliner’s missing

NIBLOCK:
Sorry we don’t chase down old flames
Or tell husbands who their wives have been kissing

STEVE:
She’s only been gone an hour
She left me this note
We got to act fast or we’ll miss the boat

NIBLOCK:
That’s what private eye’s are for
I can show myself the door

STEVE:
She’s already got an hour’s head start

NIBLOCK:
Not my job, that’s not a crime
What’d she steal?

GWEN:
Steven’s heart

CHORUS:
We all want to know about the new cop in town
With a rep for corruption and chasing women around
They say his last town said, “Quit or be fired”
Have to ask the council why the Hell was he hired?

NIBLOCK:
I was investigated and I was in the clear

MARTY:
So what the Hell are you doing here?
In the back of beyond the sticks
Turning you’re nose up at locals
And giving tickets to hicks?
You’re being punished, I tell you
Or punishing yourself

NIBLOCK:
No, I heard that the country was good for your health
Imagine my dismay
To find this pit of corruption and moral decay
Did the guy I’m replacing tolerate this blight?

MARTY:
Go ask him, his retirement party’s here tonight

(STEVE rushes toward the door clutching the letter)

GWEN:
Steven, where are you going?

STEVE:
I’m going to find her
Lock her up and keep her here
Find something to bind her
This time I won’t give her a reason to flee

(Enter SUMMER and JASMINE with a flaming drink for GWEN)

CHORUS:
Happy birthday Gwen!

GWEN:
Happy birthday to me
.
MARTY:
Sam put your pants back on!

(She blows the drink out and the stage lights go out simultaneously as a very discordant sax note is blown.)


SONG 10:
Overture (Instrumental)
(A synchronized series of slide images show the following year in Laketon. A “CLOSED” sign hangs on the local factory, “FOR SALE” signs are in front of many different houses, U-Hauls leaving the city limits and depressing news paper headlines from the area.)

END OF SCENE 1

THE VULGARIANS songs 9 & 10 "New Cop in Town"

etrommater

Joined December 2009

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Artist's Description

Songs 10 & 11 from my rock opera THE VULGARIANS

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