An Unwelcome Obsession

I was with my new boyfriend last night, watching movies at his apartment.

He started to kiss me and I responded though it could go no further since it’s ‘that time of the month’ for me.

So, I offered to do naughty things to him as a way of making up for it though why I felt there was something to make up for I’ll never know.

He, of course, didn’t turn me down.

My offer had seemed the right thing to do at the moment but, I soon discovered my heart wasn’t in it.

He is not the one I want to do naughty things to.

He is not the man I love.

Images of my former love kept flashing in my mind like the jerky images being played out in old home movies. Some of the images filled me with happiness, others caused me great sadness and tears overcame me, causing the new man in my life to think he’d done something awful and wrong.

How could I possibly explain what had caused my tears and the wretched sobbing I was unable to control.

I need to be free of my past and the man I loved more than any other.

Continuing to love a man who caused me such great soul tormenting emotional anguish is ruining my life.

And all I want to know is how to make it stop.

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