Oct. 19, 12

Oct. 19,12

I’m sad. Not the kind where you tell a joke and a smile suddenly appears on my face. I’m the kind of sad that only a tiny percent of people are, that no one understands. It creeps into my heart. Locking itself inside and swallowing the key, it begins to devour everything inside. Nibbling a piece of me each day, some days are harder than others. Sometimes this sickness, this horrible corroding sadness, takes too much and I cant breathe. Its just like I’ve been dumped into a kiddie pool and all I have to do is lift my head and I can breathe again; however, I just drown because I’m too exhausted to move. I’m the kind of sad that no matter how many hours of sleep I get I’m always tired. It’s monster clawing away at my brain and yet my body pushes through. I’m an empty carcass because I move robotically. My inner self lays in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, sobbing out her eyes until they’re puffy and red.
This is the kind of sad I go through everyday that no one understands. Sure, someone can say they can relate to what I feel, but they don’t freaking understand! I scream and I scream, but not a word comes out. I’m a voice box with no voice begging for someone to hear me. I fight through each day like its my last because I don’t know if Im going to wake up. This “sickness” engulfs itself inside me allowing no mercy. I tried to let the pain come out once, but my body ended covered in scarlet marks, pooling around me. I never tried that again….
I just want to breathe and have this weight lifted off my shoulders because whose going to want me?

Oct. 19, 12

EmotionMonster

Joined March 2011

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  • Donna19
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