The Petal'philles Chapter VII Inquisitio

The clatter of my life as it hit the linoleum floor was deafening. Each drawer pulled from cradled existence and angrily thrust upon the apartments floor did little to still the panic I felt creeping up my spine. My eyes searched each new pile of memories added to melee, widening each time light refracted from a shiny silver surface, and dimmed each time I realized the item was not what I was looking for. I swallowed hard trying in vain to bury the guilt I harbored, struggled to silence the shame that begged me to let it reach my eyes. In spite of my efforts I was losing control, small warm salt tainted tears slid down my cheeks and collected on my t-shirt. My hands shook and my breathing trembled. Trying to refocus my resolve I struck out at the nearest wall, the sound of my ring finger shattering and the resulting pain cleared my head somewhat, and I slid down the wall I had just attacked. The irony of the injury never escaping me, he had always said I was “his”, and now I’ve gone and broken the only limb I never gave him. Partly because even he knew it was wrong to marry his own daughter, partly because I left before I was old enough to be a bride. The sound of my own laughter startled me, my voice ravaged by tears that refused to stop flowing, it was a desperate sound. It was the sound of a mad woman on her last legs, and so deeming it appropriate, I allowed the laughter to fill the small room as my hands continued to search for my saving grace in the rubble that surrounded me. My eyes had given up, swollen and leaking images danced before them. Cheap incarnations of ghosts from my past brought themselves before my eyes. His eyes swam just before mine, and I realized time did little to squelch the fear he’d implanted. I smelled the whiskey and the other women, heard his laugh and felt his breath on my neck, his hands were lovingly stroking back my hair behind my ears whispering sweet things, sweet, disgusting, barbarically twisted things…

“Ouch!”, the pain delivered me from my reverie of self pity, ushered me forward on bended knee, but most importantly brought my eyes to focus on the instrument of my deliverer.

I smiled wide and soulfully, the thing that begged my attention was the very thing for which I searched.

The Petal'philles Chapter VII Inquisitio

Edibl3leper

New Haven, United States

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