The Vileness of Pity

I look back to that night, surrounded by emitting darkness, fearless tears.
Nameless emotions dwelled around me, I felt safe, safe in lost. “Nothing can prevent me from my endless fortune”. I sat on the cold tiled bathroom floor, holding firm a blade, “Is this what I want?” I kept asking myself. The windows splintered and shrieked with the reckless wind. The trees whistled, the dogs hounded. I felt shivers running down my spine, as the thoughts of mislaid memories consumed me. “Give me strength, I do not know if this is my choice to make, I do not know if this is the path set out for me” I gibbered as the vigour steel pressed against my flesh. “Am I so impure, ravenous for death?”, I could not keep up with lost thoughts as insipid blood rushed down my wrists. The time came as blood shattered to the floor, all I could hear was my fast beating heart, my breathlessness. My eye sight faded into the withering gloom, red warm colours and pitch black shadows ebriated me.

All my life I’ve been searching for something, something lost, seemingly nothing. The ghost of that night reminds me to breathe, I qualm that power will be found in me to make the same blunder again.
Everyone turns their backs to the sun, but I prefer to feel the sun insolating upon my face. I will never go back, I will never go back. My past made me who I became, and I have pride to stand up.
We all have our dark pasts, so here I am…

It has been months that has passed. A friend passed with it. A friend that had inspiring words and friendship greater than his words. He crossed the line, where as I once stood before it. He took his life. I’m alive but barely breathing. A bullet crushed against his skull, a gun to which he pulled the trigger. What insanity is this? The youth?
My eyes are as red as the blood that spat on his bedroom wall.

The Vileness of Pity

EcstaticFear

Joined May 2009

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suicide pain

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