clear catastrophy

I am the girl that sets you up high and then wants to take you down to be close to you. I always put you out of reach only to want to pull you close. I take the blows day by day. losing my numbness and finally feeling the pain. I am the girl you dance with only to forget my face. I whisper everything you want to hear in your ear, telling you everything I believe so that you can be filled and move on. I sound sad but there is happiness bubbling up and out. I wish you could see it, I wish you could taste it from my lips. I am sweetness overloaded on your palette. I am everything you are afraid to show. with half a scream and half a whisper getting lost between my mouth and your ears. I am ready to run but the race hasn’t even begun. I am the one who wants to fit in the palm of your hand, delicate. I am the one that steps on your toes, lacking all grace and finesse. I want to touch you but I don’t know how. timid and unsure. confident only in knowing I don’t know anything. I look at my flaws to figure out who I am. I forget that I am so much more than this. I used to stand at the edge of a cliff, being enticed by what lay beneath me, ready to jump. I know what I am not. I don’t know what I am. tomorrow I will be someone more evolved. tomorrow I might be the opposite of everything I thought today. I want to be closer but there’s only time and distance between us. I want to be a better friend and all I can hope is that you know I am still learning. I am unfinished, wondering if I will ever be enough. I am invisible writing on a blank page. I am the picture in the lens before the photograph is taken. I am the girl that wants to be your everything but knows she is only half that at best. I am sober. I am shaking. I am overprotective of a little girl I will never meet. I am windchimes. only making music when the wind blows hard. I am not so lost anymore. I am finding my own path. I am discovering life and I want more. I want more. I want more. I want more……………………………

clear catastrophy

eagerlyawaiting

Berwick, United States

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