Santa Baby

I wrapped and flocked and dressed the tree
The tree and me would both agree
The rush and crush we must discuss
Santa Baby what the heck are you thinking!

Strung and hung the mistletoe
Waited baited but no one showed
Spiked the nog and downed it all
Santa Baby you shoulda called

Tonight I’ll sneak and peak and roam
Around the corners and into homes
Find their cookies and steal their gifts
Santa Baby can ya tell I’m miffed?

Down each chimney with an attitude
Yuck! In my belly, a cookie stew
At nights end dirty and stuck I get
Santa Baby you owe me shoes and sense!

Screamed I did in Vera Wang and Prada
Nasty things that I shouldn’t of oughta
Someone pulled and pushed and yanked
Santa Baby thought I needed spanked

Off went one shoe my hair a mess
Out the chimney I came in my ruined dress
Before me stood the man in red
Santa Baby, got splaining to do instead!

Standing there in shiny boots and coat
Hair all combed and prepared to gloat
That infamous finger now IN his nose
Santa Baby looking nothing like I supposed

Could I would I what am I thinking!
This jolly round man was actually winking!
Calling all my brain cells please come quick
Santa Baby not in this lifetime you naughty myth!

Off into the night I went in shame
Full of umm milk, cookies and off my game
Limping so badly in vanity and pride
Santa Baby gone and all hopes in kind

Once at home mirrors didn’t lie
Sad little ragamuffin I was inside
There neath the tree a package of size
Opened it up and couldn’t believe my eyes!

Tall and dark with eyes so blue
Ever so yummy my dreams came true
Over I went and took a bite
Chocolate covered Snowmen were just my type :)

Santa Baby


Joined May 2011

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