My Hearts True Love

My cheeks were bright red as Jared stared into my eyes. I felt happy for the first time in a long time. It was very exciting…love! His eyes twinkled at the sight of my overly eager expression and smile. My heart pounded loudly, quickening by the second, making it hard not to be self conscious. It beat faster and faster as if it were a humming birds wing, stinging some what as it hit the inside of my chest. It drowned out the sound of the people screaming on near by rides and the sound of the shore beneath the trestle. The breeze picked up and blew my hair around, feeling somewhat like a sandy, wet beach towel as it slapped my face again and again. My toes stung with frost bite, but I barely noticed as I sat staring, hypnotized. I looked into his glazed over eyes and felt like I was melting. Yes! This was most definitely love.

Tears slid down my throat as I remembered how it once felt to be in love. Then, I would have thought it would last forever, one girl one boy, that’s how it was supposed to be, but now, I knew that nothing lasted forever and every second I had spent deeply in love I now had to pay for by crying every night for my true love to find me and make the pain go away. That one cold night on the train tracks had left its mark, a dark scar across my heart. What had felt like a dream had become a nightmare over time. I had to pay the price for the love I once had, gone away forever, although the pain burned me still, a secret love locked within my mind.

I pulled out a picture that was stuck in my memory, one of his smile. I laughed silently to myself, as I lay on my bed, wondering how I could have ever been so stupid as to think he would stay and love me. I used to look at him with such admiration, thinking he was the best and that no one else could take his place. Now I thought about it, and no one could take his place because he held no place at all. Emptiness was there, but it did not belong to him, not anymore. It was sad how it had changed so much and yet not at all since that last summer night when I’d sat staring into his cream filled eyes, feeling that cool breeze blow by. That last summer held my only happy memories of my loving ex, probably since forever, and although it made me happy to think of him, my love, my angel, my Jared, it was the most depressing memories I had, because I could not love him anymore. That’s why it hurt so badly when my angel escaped, he was concrete. My Concrete Angel. My guard kept letting me down. He was weak and gave into the concrete angel too often, allowing him to escape my minds fence; His force constantly pushing against my mind field, and electrocuting every one of my emotions as soon as he knocked down the walls that held them in. So I tried once more and took a key and locked up those memories, knowing it wouldn’t be long before they escaped again.

I went about my day as if nothing, as horrible as it had become, had slipped out of its closed cellar doors. The memory had some how managed to unbolt the dungeon that lay further back in my head and now stood screaming behind tightly shut doors, closed up in a box, where no one could find it. Yet, none of that mattered now. I had to tough it up and put on a happy charade for my mother; so I got up off my bed and went outside to meet my mom at the car. We got in and drove off, headed for the downtown bookstore.

The drive was boring, a little of this and that; changing radio stations, glancing out the window every few seconds to see if there might be anything new in the scenery, and momentarily inching my way forward in my seat while grasping my seatbelt in one hand, too impatience to wait for the car to stop. The car raced down the road, stopping at every red light, going when it turned green. We turned corners and switched lanes. All somewhat boring to me but I didn’t complain. I loved driving like this; cruising around town, slow speeds, watching nature take its course. Natural things seemed to be what I was into these days.

As we got closer I grew more irritated with sitting still and began to shuffle this way and that. I could see the parking lot awaiting our arrival. Slowly, as we turned the corner, we pulled up into the drive, driving around a few times to find a parking spot, and then parking our car.

When we got out, we walked swiftly across the street and into the open doors. I hopped down the aisles, hoping to find something I liked but there was nothing. My mom told me to go outside and wait for her by the car. I told her I was going to walk around downtown until she was done shopping, or browsing, or whatever it was she was doing. Then I skipped on out and marched off.

As I walked down the street I heard a familiar voice and turned around to see Jared standing there laughing with three old friends. I walked up to them slowly, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything!” My hands shook, feelings started to unravel themselves, full of many different emotions, so I hid them knotted up into fists behind my back, afraid I’d let my emotions show.

They all turned to look at me and his eyes appraised me, his face full of shock and wonder. “Hello,” he whispered; his shaggy dark brown hair hanging in front of his eyes, “So nice to see you again…” He said, his voice slowly fading off into oblivion.

“Back in town or just visiting,” I asked, trying to make myself seem less interested in the subject than we both knew I was.

His friend beamed as he spoke the words, “He’s back”, simultaneously patting him on the back for emphasis or to prove his point, I couldn’t tell which. I turned around; my mom must’ve been done looking at books by now, but I couldn’t seem to drag myself away from the conversation, couldn’t seem to bring myself to leave his presence.

He saw my action and looked down at his feet. “I realize we didn’t end so well,” he murmured as if speaking to the ground. His shoulders slumped and his baggy clothes clung to him, afraid they might suddenly fall off his body as if they were rock climbers hanging from extreme heights. He glanced up at me with a sly smile and a shy look in his chocolate mocha eyes. He breathed in deeply, allowing the air to fill his lungs, and then exhaled, pushing all of the air out of his system and having it all rush right back in. The tips of my fingers buzzed with anticipation. “Since I’m back,” his hand flew out in front of him, reaching towards me; he locked his hand to mine, intertwining our fingers. My Heart sped up; racing for the finish line I knew was coming. He moved closer to me, making my head spin. His face crowded my sinuses, making it hard to breath. His breath hot on my neck, tickling my spine, closer and closer, and then he whispered in my ear, “I love you!”

With that my whole body began to shake with joy, and I stepped forward, grabbing his shoulders and hugging them to me. He pushed back slightly, lifting my chin, and then…he kissed me!

All my hatred for love was gone, the pain ran out the door with it, and everything was perfect. And although he ended up having to move back to Mexico with his family, I never gave up on love, and it is now the most dominate part of my humanity.

My Hearts True Love

DevaDaDiva14

Santa Cruz, United States

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 4

Artist's Description

i had to write this for a school narrative essay!! =] …..tell me what u think

…………”it felt like vampires inside my mind; scraping, biting, churning, hurting, bleeding, killing; MADNESS”………

thats a line i just thought up. not from the story.
and although this is suppose to be a true story i wrote about a major change in my life, i couldn’t think of anything, so i wrote this. it’s false. but i hope you like it none the less.

Artwork Comments

  • Emily Perry
  • DevaDaDiva14
  • ElegantSavages
  • mati010
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