Bird & Bullet

Why can’t I lift myself up and just run? Is it the pain? or did I finally decide to give up? If only I could disappear and reappear far away from here, maybe then life would be.

Trying to understand that which cannot be understood creates undying frustration within me. The crushing weight of it forces my eyes to shut, forces my mind to cry.

Natural instruments scattered the darkness, playing till they could no longer hold on. Fall approached like a small child in a candy store, plucking them from their high palace and replacing it with a cold hard reality.

Searching for the source of my sadness, I found an external force that had penetrated deep within me. When I tried to remove it, I became enslaved to it. Every attempt was responded with jabs of certainty in that hope no longer remained. The grass below shuddered at the salty rain they soaked in.

My senses dulled even further reaching out for helpful memories of escape. Whiteness took over my mind and showed me a day I had long forgotton. My beautiful brother, stood so still, waiting patiently for his prey to arrive. He struck so diligently, so swiftly that failure was never a possibility. I did not take note. Instead I thrashed at the waters loudly and passionately praying for the same success but receiving the opposite. Reflection of past mistakes became squandered by the ripples and a kernel of truth sliped through yet again, resting beneath the murky water. I try again with a slight variation but the same result is manifested before me, and again I am reminded that which cannot be.

Am I still falling if the depth of my mind never decreases? Suspended in darkness, light finally becomes visible. Realization of the impossibilities reach my mind and help me to conclude that spending any remaining time in such misery will never win. This battle, my final battle, I have won. I have defeated myself by letting go of the false reality I had desperately yearned for and accepted finally that I’ve been wounded.

Bird & Bullet

Ryan Duclos

Chicago, United States

  • Artist

Artist's Description

A small tribute to all the turkeys out there.

The dying thoughts of a turkey or is it? :)

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