The Truth

“All I want to say to you right now is ‘Fuck Off!’ but I can’t. I can never say that to you, because I’m afraid that you just might.”

And so it began. From that moment I knew that it was over. Things had changed forever and could never come back. Maybe I knew it before that? Maybe that’s what prompted me to say it? I’ll never know.

Our lives are (were) intertwined, pushing against each other, squeezing each other, finding enough space to breathe and stretch and feel the sun – before pushing back in, shutting it all out. Last night we pushed too hard. Squeezed too tight and now the sun can’t reach us. No, really, it can’t reach me. I have been in a sea of blackness ever since, and I can’t get to the surface no matter how hard I kick and strain. I can’t see you, I don’t know whether you made it out. I hope you have. I’m still plunging, spiralling, spinning, giddy and drunk on fear and isolation. I lost my way, I don’t know which way is out, or up? Is there a trap door at the bottom? Do I even want to get out? As soon as I get out I’ll be plunged back down, heart first, head second.

The poison that I put in my veins is now working it’s magic, burning from the inside. The long months of waiting are over, the fear and worry have come home to roost. The spiral continues, I don’t know where I am going, I feel your hand. You pull on it, taking me with you. Are you pulling me down deeper? Or up and out?

The Truth

Dan A'Vard

Thornbury, Australia

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

i wrote this some time ago… a different time, a different emotion… sometimes i still feel lost, but in a fog… not a sprial.

Artwork Comments

  • greeneyes
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