Secrets For The Wounded

Kate walked through the front door and was as usual greeted by the blasting music coming from her daughter’s room.

Rose, her daughter, used to be such a bubbly girl. But after her dad’s death, one month ago, she had completely detached herself from the happy life she once lived. Now she spends all of her time in her room, with the curtains drawn, it just has the air of death feeling.

After the tragic event of Kate and Rose’s loss they had to move to a more suitable house, which cared for there needs. As far as Kate knew Rose just was devastated about her father’s death. But was this the case? Much more was happening but Rose kept it all a secret from everyone, except her diary. Where all of her thoughts and emotions were expressed.

As Kate put down her bag and shouted up for Rose, she noticed her daughter’s diary was on the sofa. By this time rose had not come down to say hi, so Kate stood there and after a couple of minutes she came to the conclusion that she would read the diary. She was very curious about what her daughter was up to now a day as they don’t talk much anymore. Little did Kate know that what she was about to read would change her life forever.

Kate opened up the diary and began to read …

1st February
Dear book of misery.
Moving to this new school is bloody awful. I can’t believe my mum would make me move schools and house when I only lost my dad 1 month ago. Things can’t get any worse. I’m so depressed. I have only been at this school for a week and I hate it! Tomorrow is the month anniversary of his death. And I bet mum and I won’t say anything about it and we will carry on the way we are like nothing happened. And ill sit hear listening to mum cry as usual.

Today was the first time I brought myself to dot it! I cut my wrists up like it was paper going through a shredder. And for that split second life seemed better as I could feel the adrenaline running through my body. But all of a sudden I felt the grim life came back to reality. SCHOOL. That’s the reason I get myself like this. Popular people bringing me down. With the anniversary coming up, the constant bully and falling behind in my education. ARGH everything has gone wrong. Why can’t it go back to the way it used to be me, mum and dad all happy. And my school life which used to be great and fun but has turned into miserable and boring.

Ill write soon
Rose x

While Kate was reading this tears began to trickle down her red Rosie cheeks. She continued ……

6th February 2006
Dear book of misery.
Something terrible happened to me today, on my way home from school I got beaten up because of the way I am. I mean why are all these things happening to me am I such a bad person that I deserve all this! I told mum that I walked into a door and I was all bruised because of that when really it was because of those stupid people at my school that hate me. She went crazy and started shouting saying to me that I need to stop being so clumsy and that she needs a more responsible child after everything that had happened, not a stupid little girl. I ran to bed crying. Mum came to kiss me goodnight. And she apologised for what she had said to me and she said she didn’t mean it and that she just had a bad day. I know she meant it. Otherwise why would she say it? I’m still cutting myself like there’s no tomorrow. My wrists and arms look like they are a piece of meat that had just been cut up with a meat clever. I’m missing my daddy. I can’t help but feel like I should put everyone out of their misery and just finish this life! At least mum wouldn’t worry. I could be with my daddy and those mean people at school would be glad to see the back of me.

Ill write soon
Rose x

14th February 2006
Sorry I haven’t written in ages. My mind has been else where. I want my daddy back. I miss him and just want to give him a big hug and for him to tell me everything will be ok. But it won’t. It’s been arranged in my mind next Thursday I am going to get out of this rut of misery and make the world a better place. Because to be quite honest I have had enough and I can’t take anymore bullying and being around with out my dad. It kills me internally to hear my mum cry every night. I feel like it’s my entire fault because ever since I told my parents about me smoking everything went wrong. My dad died. My mum’s heart has been ripped out. I have no friends. I get beaten daily. All because I am a bad person the world is better with my face not in it!

My next diary entry will be my last one.
Speak then
Rose x

Kate was astounded by how she never knew these things were occurring in her daughter’s life. Kate noticed that the next diary entry was the actual last entry so she carried on reading ….

Dear book of misery
Today’s the day! I help everyone. I’m sitting here on the sofa writing this while the air is silent. All I can think about is the one sentence from one of my favourite bands songs and that sentence is So Long and Goodnight fits in well. I hope my mum will understand why imp doing this. I know I have to do this. There is no turning back now!
I love my mum and my dad very much. I shall never forget the smell of my mum’s perfume.

So Long and Good Night World SO long and good Night!
Kate put down the book and paused. Just to let all what she had just read sink in.
The tears were still streaming down her face. It was raining heavily outside. Kate ran upstairs and opened Roses door with extreme force. She opened her mouth and went to speak but she noticed, that there her daughter was lying in a pool of blood.

Rose had deeply gashed into her arm. Flesh was hanging everywhere like little bits of string. Kate grabbed the portable phone and rang for an ambulance.
Kate sat holding rose in her arms. While whispering in her ear everything will be ok. You see we shall sort this out me and you together. I love you and that shall never change. Kate clenched onto Rose and waited for the ambulance to arrive…

Secrets For The Wounded

Deathstar2009

Gillingham, United Kingdom

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