The di Vinci Code of Dating...

OKAY – I did it!

Even though I said I wouldn’t…I went ahead and did it anyway!!! I paid for a one month membership to Yahoo Personals (so sue me)! I received an inquiry from a 50 year old “medical professional”. Of course, the inquiry came on the same day that I had spent $120.00 for prescriptions, so he sounded really good at the time. Then I did the unthinkable, and joined to send him a reply (Like I said…go ahead an sue me…no REALLY…I need to be sued…honestly…just for being stupid)!!!

When I showed my “medical” guy’s picture to my sister today, she made a face and said “achhh – he’s too old for you” – and she’s right. I don’t relate very well to men my own age. My oldest beau to date was 46, a mere two years younger than I. But we were as different as day and night. He didn’t like to use the internet, couldn’t see a thing without his glasses, and despite certain “attributes” I know that I’d never be able to blast “Project Bitch” or “Fuck The Police” in my car when he was with me…and that’s a problem! My 50 year old “medical” prospect also told me that he can’t handle Rap.

I get that alot!

So what am I to do? Is Flava Flav still single?

Though, I think I may finally have a dating-game advantage (aside from just not giving a shit anymore). After one year of being single I’ve slowly started to crack the on-line dating code. And I feel I’ve made real progress in deciphering that new language called “Internet Bullshit”! Here’s what I’ve discovered so far…..

New to Area…….DRIFTER

Fun to be With…….ALCOHOLIC

Not Into Head Games…….LAST GIRLFRIEND HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER OUT

Good Cook…….OWNS A SET OF POTS AND PANS

Family Oriented…….LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER

Down to Earth Guy…….WILL FART IN FRONT OF YOU

Wants a Woman Who’s Comfortable in Jeans or Dressed Up for a Night on the Town…….WILL NEVER TAKE YOU ANYWHERE

In Shape…….ROUND (that’s a shape, right?)

Dry Humor…….NO HUMOR

Likes to Try New Things……..WILL ASK FOR ANAL ON THE FIRST DATE

Well…that’s all I’ve gotten through so far. Perhaps I should enlist the help of my sister and her employees in the Linguistics Data Consortium at the University of Pennsylvania. Just think – by 2010 I could have nearly all “Internet Bullshit” translated. Sadly though – dating men continually update the language to confuse single women – and I fear this code might never truly be cracked.

Oh well – another $26.99 down the tubes!!!

Does anyone have Flava Flav’s phone number?

The di Vinci Code of Dating...

Donna Dart

Blenheim, United States

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

What men say on-line…and what they really mean!

Tags

dating online

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