Baby Step-Momma Drama...

Step children are like wounded wild animals. You shouldn’t get too attached to them – you could lose them at any time. My step-son was a mere 6 months when I met my second husband, who had just come through a bad relationship that turned into an unplanned pregnancy, which resulted in a bad marriage – and, well, ultimately ended in a bad divorce and a bad rest of his life with this woman. I was supportive and nurturing to my husband AND his child – as they were both so very young. Over the years my love and I had a good relationship that turned into a wonderful marriage, and then had a adorable child. During that time my husband’s ex-wife would periodically call me up to make an accusation or two (ex: we cut her son’s hair when we had him out) or call just to make my life miserable. I stuck up for my husband and agreed with him every time he said that she was wrong for accusing him of being a terrible father. I tagged along to child support hearings like I was going to a baseball game, to route for my favorite player, and didn’t get thrown out of court once for wearing that big red foam hand that said “Dad is #1”.

Okay, let me update you…I DID have a wonderful marriage. But like all fairy tale marriages, I soon found out that my husband was just as awful as any ogre I had read about. He cheated, lied to me, gave me a disease – you know, the usual stuff. My step-son was about 8 years old, and during the period of separation with my husband one of the things I missed most about that time was that I didn’t get to see him. I wondered what was happening in school, what sport he played, how many friends he had. That isolation just added to my pain.

Maybe I was unsure of my capabilities and my future, or maybe I was just lonely – I asked my husband to come back. It took a VERY VERY long time to rekindle that fairy tale feeling we’d had, but with lots of hard work on my part, and mostly ignoring the fact that he was a liar and a cheat, we were happy once more. My husband’s ex was also happy, and when she’s happy – everyone’s happy. We finally started to build a real relationship with his little boy, and watched him grow into one of the sweetest, kindest young men I will ever know.

But…you know how ogres are – my husband showed his evil side once more, AND I found out that he had lied, cheated, and given me a disease (see a pattern here?). This time he was gone for good. I was still unsure of my capabilities or my future, but I was sure that this person should not be in any future of mine if I expected it to be a happy one! Just as before, though, I missed my boy. He was a teenager – starting to drive, graduating from high school – and he was gone – maybe this time for good. When my son told me that the graduation party was coming up, and that he and his dad were going to go, something inside me just withered. I thought back over the past 11 years, and realized that I was the one who went to pick my boy up for weekend visits, and it was I who took him out for clothes, who made sure his father called him on his birthday, who made him an outrageously large breakfast EVERY DAY when he was with us because it made him happy, and who loved him unconditionally like I had given birth to him myself. And now, he was gone…AGAIN!

The pain I felt when I thought I couldn’t see him graduate or celebrate his accomplishment was excruciating. And in addition to the fact that I had been devastated by the man I had faithfully given close to 20 years of my life to, I now felt like the diseased appendage that the extended family no longer had to suffer with. Somehow I felt that in their eyes I had simply never existed.

But before you get TOO depressed by this story, I think it would be an excellent time to let you know that LOVE DOES CONQUER ALL…love for my stepson, that is. His graduation came and he invited ME, and not his father. These days he drives to my house and visits just to update me on his life. He’s not afraid to be himself around me, and knows that no matter what his life holds, his brother and I will always be there for him – just like we’ve always been.

And, oddly enough, the two women who were formerly married to that amazing boy’s father – who fought with and hurt each other far too many times…his mother and I…are now united in our pure hatred of the man! And that’s REALLY fun!

So Matthew…live life with meaning – overcome your obstacles – give till it hurts – don’t be afraid to care – and always ALWAYS know you’re loved!

This story is for you.

Baby Step-Momma Drama...

Donna Dart

Blenheim, United States

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 2

Artist's Description

For Matthew – My Stepson


divorce life

Artwork Comments

  • Raymond Carle
  • JanHeinrich
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.