RAY and BABY (part one)

“Don’t worry about Baby,” Bob said. “This is usually her bedroom when nobody stays over.”

Bob trained guard dogs for a living. He trained poodles to be killer guard dogs, and they make very good guard dogs, too. He trained the regular big dogs for guard dogs, but the poodle thing really impressed me. I mean, poodles are supposed to be cute, for Pete’s sake!

I even helped him lease a poodle to a minute-mart place that kept getting robbed. I put on a mask and went to come in the door to simulate a stick-up. When I came in, the dog already had a guy cornered: Somebody had tried to stick the place up for real, just ahead of me. When I pulled off my mask, Bob about shit! He thought that was me the dog had hit, taken down, and kept rolling over every time the guy moved. When I took off the mask, I saw the dog take a quick look at me, then grab the real bad guy by the crotch. So I disarmed the guy, and the people paid the full price in cash to own, not lease the poodle, and even bought the retraining package— right then and there.

Anyway, this was one of my first visits to Bob’s and I hadn’t met every dog in the place yet. I’d met most of the cats already, because cats know I’m a cat-man and they all just happened by for a scratch under the chin or a good ear-rub. The cats ruled the place, and the dogs never went after a cat. For that matter, I won’t allow a dog to chase a cat, or maul or kill a cat. I’m 6’4” and a US Marine.

One time one of Bob’s dogs thought it could eat my ass when I was asleep. I woke up to find it standing over me, growling and baring its teeth. So when it snapped, I chopped it across the muzzle with the side of my hand. Bob said he was glad I did it because he couldn’t afford to have one of his dogs go rogue after he had placed it. So the dog stayed on as a breeder because it could never be a guard dog again.

Well, we watched some TV with the cats, and hung around and yakked until we got tired, and then we turned in. I went to the guest room and crawled into bed, and as he passed on the way to the master bedroom, that’s when Bob mentioned that Baby might join me in bed, but not to worry.

“Fine, prob’ly ‘nother cat,” I thought as my head hit the pillow. And I fell asleep. Truth be known, I might have actually passed out, Bob kept a good bar.

I’d been asleep for what seemed like a long time when I came near to consciousness hearing one of my favorite sounds: The sound of a happy, rumbling purr. “Cat,” I said into my pillow, and drifted off again.

Some time later I came close to waking again, this time with my arms around somebody. “Mmmmm,” I purred back, snuggling up tight. And back to sleep I went.

Bob came down the hall next morning, calling out to wake me up as he put on the coffee: “Hey, Ray, it’s day-time!” He laughed at his sick attempt at humor. But what the hay, we were both hung over, and nothing was really funny.

I had a fuzzy memory of having had my arms around somebody the night before, but I didn’t remember any girls or women being around. I wondered who might be in bed with me— but my eyes had refused to open so far to see. So I forced them open as far as I could. I could faintly see a blonde head on the pillow with mine. I rubbed my hand on the blonde’s rib cage. She was pretty hairy; but soft hair. And she started to purr again. I remembered now: The woman had distinctly been purring earlier in the night. Even with my eyes closed I had a pretty good idea that the blonde might not be human.

So I pulled one hand off the blonde and knuckled my eyes with the back of it… and opened them. . . and looked. . . and, yes, this blonde was a fully grown cougar. A mountain lion was in my bed, purring and snuggling with me, and, I realized, I had been snuggling it back all night long.

“Oh, I see you’ve met Baby,” Bob smiled as I grabbed up my coffee and drank it down in one gulp. “She likes you, I can tell.” Yeah, well, I could tell, too, she was still purring and was rubbing her face on my left knee. “I knew you two would hit it off, the way you go for cats,” said Bob. And I guess he was right, because that damn blonde cat slept in bed with me every time I stayed over at Bob’s place from then on.

RAY and BABY (part one)


Joined March 2008

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Artist's Description

Ray meets a beautiful blonde gal, a real party animal, as his friend Phil says. Waking up with her, and not knowing when or how she got in his bed, he was even more surprised when he found out who it was he was in bed with.

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