I’ve realized something: I care about people. Yes, my friends and family but others too. The trip to ND a couple weeks ago opened my eyes to that, to the fact that caring FOR people is a part of me, a part of me I can’t push away any longer.

There is a part of me that likes to, has a need to, take care of people and I realized that life isn’t to make money or to be successful, although those can be important things as we all need to make ends meet and want to feel good about ourselves. But, for me, it’s to help others. In what capacity is another question that will be answered in the future, I am certain.

The trip also made me realize how important family is and, more importantly, reconnecting with family. I haven’t been close to my mom’s family in a long time and this trip to ND, to get stuff ready for my Grandpa’s auction sale, was good for all of us. I hadn’t seen my aunt in 12 years, since my Grandma’s funeral. I realized how alike we are, how we both miss Grandma deeply, and how we process things quite similarly. I hadn’t seen my “older” uncle in five years and I realized that he was still the take charge person, but fun loving person, that I remembered. My younger uncle, the one who is only about 14 years older than me, is fun and kooky and still remembers me as a little girl so when I grabbed that beer he saw a three year old with pigtails running around with that beer. He got over being appalled really quickly, though. I had a good time, am looking forward to continuing relationships with them.

The trip also made me realize that life doesn’t need to be a whirlwind. That sometimes you need to slow down. Being in a sleepy small town in ND (yes there are places where the stores close at 6…are closed Sundays…and open back up at 8am on Monday) made me realize that we need to slow down. Maybe instead of working that extra shift we need to take a hike and realize how beautiful the countryside is. Maybe instead of trying to get all the yard work and housework done on a Saturday you should play at the park with your kids. Maybe that sleepy backwards town has it right. Maybe slower is better, at least for a while. To see the fields, golden with cut hay and hay bales dotting the countryside, the sky so blue and the corn field a beautiful green…waving as I go by. I don’t know if it was beckoning to me, to “come home” or waving me good bye, knowing that I will return some day…I don’t know. But the beauty that was there was unreal, surreal almost, and made me kinda miss the old days where life wasn’t rushed, where I had time to read a book or do a crossword puzzle or just sit and relax…I miss that life, somewhat, or at least for a while…and wish that I could go back, catch my breath, for the next whirlwind to catch me.



Clifton, United States

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