Today is different

TODAY IS DIFFERENT
As I lay here in my bed drifting in the moments between slumber and wakefulness. I am aware of the smells and sounds around me. My 5 year old sister that I share a room with is sleeping on the bunk bed below mine. I know that she is still sleeping, I hear her deep slow breathing as she dreams in the early morning.
I hear the hum of the lawnmower as our neighbor cuts his grass, as he does every Saturday morning, saturating the air with the smell of freshly cut grass and honey suckle. The chime on the porch makes a soft sweet melody as the warm summer breeze touches it before blowing softly through the lace curtains that hang on the windows above the bed.
It is a typical summer day in the south and I can hardly wait to go outside. I hope my mom does not make me stay in to play with my2 year old baby sister who is always to sick to go outside. Suddenly I have a strange feeling. Something tells me that today is different.

I stretch and sit on the edge of the bed and look across the room at my reflection in the mirror, I am 9 years old with blond hair, big blue eyes, freckles and long skinny legs that are covered with scratches and bruises from many hours of outside play. I inhale deeply expecting to smell the bacon and eggs cooking as they always do on Saturday mornings. But there are no smells coming from the kitchen. Something tells me that today is different.

I look out of the window and see my grandparents car in the drive and my dad and grandfather in the yard. I jump from my bed in anticipation of seeing them.

I walk barefoot across the cool hardwood floors toward the kitchen, where I expect to see my mother and grandmother sitting at the table drinking coffee, while talking and laughing as my grandmothers fluffy biscuits cook in the oven and my two year old sister plays at their feet.

As I pass my cat tiger, who lays sleeping on a sunny spot in the hall, he raises his head and with sleepy eyes, looks at me as if to say “you know don’t you that today is different.”

When I walk into the kitchen my grandmother is holding my mother in her arms. My mother is crying with an agony that comes from the depth of her soul as my grandmother, who is always the strong woman in our family sits rocking my mother like a baby as she weeps. Tears run down my grandmothers face as she holds her daughter to her chest. She tells her that she wishes she could take away her pain to make everything better. She offers soothing words of comfort and strokes my mothers head as my mother continues to cry and to wail that is not fair that God has taken her baby.

I am not sure what is happening but as I listen to her cries and my grandmothers words, I realize that today is different.

Today is the day that my little sister has died. She has been suffering from leukemia and today was her last.

Today is different, after today I will not have to complain that my mother makes me stay in and play with my baby sister, just because she is unable to go outside.
Today is different.

Today it is I who will will cry, wishing I still had her to play with.

Today is different because we do not have her sweet cherub face and sweet smile to brighten our day.

Today is different, after today it is not she who cries from her pain, but we who cry out in pain. Because today is different.

Today our hearts break from the pain and loss, but we must also rejoice for today is different.

Today is the day that my baby sister gets her wings and becomes an angel as she looks into Gods eyes and smiles at him with her sweet smile to brighten the heavens… Because today is different.

by cyndi jamerson

Today is different

Cyndi Jamerson

Anniston, United States

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Artist's Description

This is a story about me and my 3 year old sister that died of leukemia when I was 9

Artwork Comments

  • knightingail
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