wittle archie ( the birth of wittle archie )

from my very first breath, i just knew life was going to be tough.the nurse proved that as she drew her hand across my behind ( smaaaack ) aye two seconds into the world after my mother giving birth to me ,and i was experiencing my very first beating from ( a midwife, within the maternity hospital ) as i let out a scream it was awwwwwwww isnt he just like his daddy mummy said..awww look, he has his mothers eyes and nose..and look at all the hair…( wow ) they had created a monster ( me ) next thing they wrap me up in a blanket, it felt like in a straight jacket it was so tight ,i couldnt move.or id have made a quick escape and wriggled my way out of that hospital. from that point on i knew life was’nt going to be easy, so after proding and poking about with me counting my toes and fingers measuring me up, checking my parts and bits and bobs and dangly things,they placed me down beside my mother who nearly sufficates me with her breasts,awwwwwww my beautiful baby boy what shall i call you…( .im thinking ( call me a taxi so i can get out of here ) so after meeting my mummy and a few of the hospital staff they then throw me into a fish-tank thing, a clear glass see through cot , so i just lie their thinking of a plan ( how am i going to get out of here )…i decide to take a nap….a little later i hear a deep voice ,scary deep thing awwww look at him isnt he beautiful,looking up i can see a tall shadowy figure with hair at both ends of his face standing over me and a much smaller hady person with a squeeky voice at the other side of my tank, a little more soothing but fast spoken. this was to be my daddy and my brother daniel…they came to see me in my fish tank. im glad they didnt throw me any fish food i would have choked to death, minutes later im getting picked up awwwwwwwww isnt he tiny look at those little fingers and little toes and nose and little ( am like hold it right their you’ve said enough ) then im passed around like pass the parcel but without the music…..this is your brother daniel this is your your daddy im your mummy.thats your granny thats your grandad this is your auntie thats your uncle and thats! hey!!! who the “bleep” are you ( oh sorry came to the wrong room ….a weird looking man with glass bottle things on his face, said sorry and left the room ) a student doctor ( tipical )aaaaaaannnnnd ..this is the nurse that brought you into the world ( am thinking , aye thats the one that beat me up ) and so life begins with a beating……..a few hours later sniff sniff whats that smell…am like hell nooooooooo …everyones getting all excited ( look look look looooooooooooook his first pooooooooooooooo awwwwwwwww ) ha ha am thinking not at all people ( thats no poo ) thats when i knew i was going to be creative and become an artist…i had just created my very first peace of art….ha ha ha wittle archie was born

wittle archie ( the birth of wittle archie )


ALLOA, United Kingdom

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life begins with a beating

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