i have a cupboard that smells like green cordial, its delicious.

i have a cupboard that smells like green cordial, its delicious.

But not as delicious as something else, no that’s a joke what could possibly be more delicious then GREEN cordial (ice-cream maybe- not too sure). But the man at the cordial shop told me “its just not, well…um, what is the word i am on a linguistic quest for, what is that holy grail of words that i am crusading for with the largest part of my mental capacity (i felt that he went over board, so i dived in and felt around just to make sure) it is just on the tip of my metaphorical tongue, hold on i may just make that a literal comment” with that he removed a blue permanent marker from his apron front and, using a handy pocket sized mirror (named that for the simple fact some times a fiction that it fit into his pocket) which he conveniently keeps in his top shirtfront pocket for situations very different to this but non the less it was an optimum moment to show off and fulfil what he had planned out to do. He scrawled, because this isn’t something you can just write or jot down, its a full blown scrawling moment and should be recorded and remembered as such. So that in the future when a class of assorted misfits in space are being taught by a teacher named “Mr. kotter” who’s a very funny man with a medically documented enlarged funny bone resulting in premature baldness and a third eye, but this goes unnoticed because of all the aliens in the future who come to live on earth and learn our history for an obscure and wholly unbelievable reason, unless they are from The Alien Galactic History and Road Repair Council Slash Organization which would have liked to be called TAGHRRCSO for short or at least be known by that name to their friends, but everyone simply just calls them gits (even their friends who do it behind their backs) because its less of a mouth full and no one really likes them, even their friends who are only such because of the perks which include free and unrestricted use of the historical library and having their street (and their mums) maintained, unlike the rest of the universe. This means that they are generally ignored and shunned accept by groups of treasure hunters and school history teachers (who teach Earth history as a selective subject that everyone does but no one passes because no one cares what happened or did happen to that boring little planet near the sun, also because the teacher is so funny and due to that he never really gets around to teaching them about the history of earth he just tells jokes and draws rude pictures on the white board (now called “other board” so that it is politically correct and no one gets offended) which include a rubber mallet, a duck and four large cat skinned boots (draw from that what ever you will- i won’t tell).
We then return to the cordial shop and it’s owner who is still in a battle of wits with himself and is evidently losing. “THE WORD IS, THEWORD IS, THE WORD IS!” the capital letters are symbolising him shouting as he believes that this will not only help him remember but find that is t makes him sound smart and attractive to “the ladies”. “THAT WORD IS THE WORD THAT I WAS GOING TO USE AND FEEL THAT IT MAY BE A…(he ran out of breath and had to have a quick rest to catch it and stock pile because it was on special and you never know when more will come in handy, or so his mother always told him)…PIVITAL MOMENT IN MY LIFE AND YOUR LIFE AS THE COMMON CUSTOMER”
I then had to stop him and retort with:
“Hey {mark of exclamation}”
“I am terribly sorry to interrupt your loud and rambling soliloquy but i feel it very unkind and a mean (you should never be mean because its mean to be mean) thing to say when you shouted, because that was exactly what you were doing; shouting, ‘common’ " he then gave a puzzled look at his watch then the opposite wall then the relative wall and finally me, and after repeating the whole thing a few times he burst forth with a beautiful smile the world had not seen since the last time he smiled in such a manner.
“I REMEMBER THE WORD I WAS GOING TO USE!” he then hugged himself and looked at the relative wall in a glazed almost fish like way.
“Well” i asked in a manner very becoming to me as i was turning into a person who would say words like “well”.
" feasible " he explained in way that was just asking for it.
“Oh, ok then… well could i have some lemon and lime cordial please”
After the transaction i left never to return again that day.

i have a cupboard that smells like green cordial, its delicious.


Sydney, Australia

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