Progressive Pains

The rain was falling hard, blown against the windows of the car hard enough to blast the dirt away. The wind shook the car as if it was a drunken mob trying to push it over. This weather was, well, pathetic and it did nothing to help overcome the anguish, the guilt and the sick feeling I was going through.

Earlier in the week I had suffered a painful injury just from jogging along; it caused me enormous discomfort but that didn’t matter to them. They thought I was being slack, not turning up to work just because I didn’t want to. I had a certificate from the Doctor, I had been referred to a specialist; they didn’t care. I had strong pain killers to take; they didn’t care……….fuckers. What would they know? How could they, they didn’t care.

It was just another in a long line of issues I had; life was a virus that continued to add stress, pain, discomfort, and spiralled me into depression. The Government wanted me to pay them back, the family needed me to provide for them. Everywhere I turned people had hands out, wanting me to do something or give something. I HAVE NO MORE TO GIVE PEOPLE. BACK OFF.

So I sit here in the rain, and the wind, watching it replicate my private life in more ways than one. it was pushing me with the wind, the rain was making it hard to see; I was being swamped by nature in the same way people wanting shit swamped me. I couldn’t see a way through my life, it was not only raining, but foggy, and dark. As I drove along I became amazingly aware of my surroundings; look there is some lavender growing in that garden. WHAT? I saw a plant growing across the road. Why? What did it signify? How come it was just then I noticed it? I mean I had driven this road so often, daily in fact, yet I never saw that plant before yet all of a sudden there it was. It was a beacon, a revelation, an amazing break through. I saw something through the rain.

On I drove…….thinking about the lavender, the rain, the wind, and now the storm that drove it along was bearing down on me hard but I didn’t care. I saw a flower.

Progressive Pains

Chris Ryan

Joined March 2008

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Artist's Description

A short work highlighting the continued fight internal to us all.

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