Trinity

I. A thousand feet of gray. A thousand feet
of pallid gray and mist. We watch the sky
and fret. A minor squall or three-day-blow?
No way to tell. If we could see beyond
that northern range, if we could see beyond
the shawl of cloud that languorously seeps
along the ridges and declivities
of that red northern range, we’d have a chance
to learn how night will be, to learn how long
we might stand watching here above the lake
and under it. These gray vapors sublime
and curl around the trees, these lichen-cloaked
and lignin-twisted firs, these misty tongues
encircle them, caress them, and recede.

II. We watch the sky of pallid gray and mist
that eases up the canyon, filling it,
immense: an insubstantial glacier’s shade
where once a tongue of ice flowed down and ground
that far wall to an edge. The little lake,
pellucid in the overcast of noon
not hours ago, is dull. Around the trees,
around uprooted, sunken trees, their limbs
long-stripped, in depths of winter ice entombed
till summer thaw bathes them in pale green light
ten feet below the surface. Under them
lithe forms six inches long swim silver-marked.
An age ago the ospreys slept in them.
Cold centuries in ice their wood preserved.

III. Lithe forms six inches long swim silver-marked
beneath the cold and undecaying wood.
A life ago I saw them. Lives ago
I dove into a canyon west of here,
still pools of silver ice, and held my breath,
the surface shining there above my head,
and summoned them to me. My hand outstretched
and so they skittered just beyond my reach,
a finger’s size at best, parr-marked in rust
on silver sides. One came again to me
and settled in above my upraised palm,
a flick of fin to steady her. Besotted,
sodden, sadly, I besought her stay,
a glint of fire in ice to fill my lungs.

IV. I dove into a canyon west of here
and rising hard, the current swept me out
among the dross and down. Which was the rill
and which the wrack? The torrent carried me
down to the confluence, the Trinity
in flood at Weitchpec, rivers new conjoined
and sea’s salt craving in them, but in truth
I bore it as well, that torrent held
roil-rimmed in venous channels, scarcely low
enough to stay within the banks. Here now
a standing wave inside would drench me good,
moisten my face, encrust my pocket change
with silt, throw driftwood limbs against my ribs,
fill lungs and leave me gasping on the sand.

V. Here, now, enough to stay within the banks.
Above me, leavings of historic floods,
stout limbs wrapped into trees, paint-chipped porch rails
twelve feet above the ground, aluminum
and coils of red barbed wire — a nest for rocs —
that once lay closer to the sodden earth
until one soaking rain too many, then
another, blew over mountain passes;
filled up the tiny feeder runs with storm,
filled up the rills with storm, filled up the creeks
that gather up each rill’s augmented storm,
augment that then themselves, and dump it out
into the Klamath River’s angry brown;
whole forests tumble seaward after it.

VI. I once lay closer to the sodden earth
and felt it breathing, long, slow draughts of breath,
an eon’s inspiration and release,
long exhalations, tule mists that rise
from cobble bars, that linger over pools
and dissipate when sun’s first beams at last
surmount the southward ridge, dissolve into
the sky to fall again as rain upstream.
The earth breathes still, it breathes: a labored rasp.
These river-strangling dams, these forests sheared
to loose their soil into the steelhead pools
with mercury from the abandoned mines,
they seize the lungs. They clasp the earth’s pale throat
and squeeze as if they stand to benefit.

VII. The sky will fall again as rain, upstream
where we stand, watching mist obscure the lake
and thicken. Some of it will overtop
the lake, where Deadfall Creek will take it, mix
it with the ends of Chilcoot, Salt Lick, Bear
and High Camp creeks, each spilling what the storm
has given it, to form the Trinity.
A litany of further creeks, each with
their summer rain and snowmelt add themselves,
Cedar Creek, and Picayune, and Eagle,
Tangle Blue, Sunflower, all the vessels
of this million-fingered drainage, until just
at Coffee Creek: slack water. Twenty miles
of river drowned. The jet skis muddy it.

VIII. A litany of further creeks, each with
its singular raw nature, each defiled,
truncated, water wrested from each bed
and flattened, throttled, rivers sent in chains
to water cotton farms, old cobble bars
left dry and caking where deft garter snakes
once raised their heads at me, where yellow-legged
frogs once slow regarded me from shaded
pools, where coho held their redds and flicked
thick meaty tails at me, where the chinook
splashed busily midstream and did not look
at me at all. Brown are the tules now,
alder grows crisp in summer heat and bands
of cat-tails edge into what were the depths.

IX. Left dry and caking where deft garter snakes
escape upstream, a hundred thousand salmon.
A hundred thousand dead salmon, the knot
that ties the grizzly to the squid undone,
slack in the piss-warm river, flies around
them. Once the Pacific fed this lake,
rich soil off ocean’s floor shaping itself,
engulfing and enveloping itself,
pulling itself up, the stream fighting it,
the base imperative of going home
to feed the roots of wizened foxtail pines,
wind-blasted, sere, serene. All severed now,
this chain from summit to the dim abyss.
Eyes turn to heaven, mist over, go dark.

X. The base imperative of going home
is thwarted. Rivers run down to the sea
no more, and the sea boils up storms to melt
the mountains. I once walked a trail into
the wooded reaches of the Trinity’s
South Fork, cast hooks into still pools, waded
out where blue herons hunt steelhead, and slipped
myself into the rapid. I took in
the river, took the Trinity’s white foam
spirit boiling into myself, was cleansed
immaculate and whole, and the white-head
eagle stretched a solitary wing
in Douglas fir. Now eagles feed like crows
on windrows of dead coho and chinook.

XI. I once walked a trail into the mountains
their proud cloud banners streaming east aloft
and on the third day rested, made a fire
in my little stove. The water boiled,
tea in the cup, my hands curled ‘round for warmth,
the plated bark of Jeffrey pine against
my back, its resin sticking to my shirt
and watched. The sky vermilion, I watched.
The moon insensible, ascending over
sere Nevada hills, I watched. The stars
in their undying firmament, the hunter
and his dog, the sisters, Jove and Ares,
all the far and noble things not yet
within our growing power to rend I watched.

XII. Jove and Ares, Canis, the Pleiades
above me as that sky turned indigo,
and mountains to the south in silhouette
dissolved slow into dusk, as many stars
above as those that filled my heart that night
furiously to burn, and yet remote
enough that their fire brought no warmth
save that which I imagined. Undying?
The stars die every night too far away
for us, our eyes e’er downward-cast, to see.
Their light has traveled long, for some of them
since we grew scales. They may be dead. If our
small sun had died that night, I’d not have known
there, on my rock, until my tea grew cold.

XIII. Above me as that sky turned indigo
I dared not move, the broken ground
too treacherous, no moon to guide me through
the ankle-shattering scree. Last night the moon
rose late, not long ‘til dawn, but light poured off
the stars like riverfoam. Each stone illumed
above and underneath, each vein of leaf
stark lit, sharp shadows cast, each needle-tip
on every pine ablaze. When I walked down
along the lake’s near shore the wind had stilled,
the lake turned bottomless, and there within
a galaxy of stars burned furious
remote. In depths of winter ice scant-warmed,
their centuries’ cold fire lit up my heart.

XIV. There, centuries-cold fire lit up my heart
And lifted it, though not without complaint
through moonrise, through the moonlight-driven wind
that made us shiver quiet as we slept,
through morning and the climb. The summit reached
fair easily, though not without complaint,
we saw the first gray rumblings of this storm,
descended to a knife-edge ridge, divide
between the Trinity’s long-furthest reach
and the Sacramento, my home’s native
river. From that far height no ashen marks
of commerce could we see. The headwaters
in us, we were the headwaters of all
below, sublimed and fallen on the Earth.

Trinity

Chris Clarke

Joined January 2008

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