The end of a chapter in the book of life...

30 years old . . .

or 1605 Weeks old
or 368 Months old
or 11239 days old
or 269736 Hours old

It doesn’t seem such a long time ago that I was entertained by simple die cast metal cars or plastic bricks that slotted together into anything my imagination wanted them to be.

I would watch Star Wars EVERY morning for what now; seemed like the entirety of my childhood. A Milkyway was a totally acceptable substitute for breakfast followed by purposely and expertly burnt toast.

The primary school that introduced me to 14 years of education which; although it was fun; was unfortunately a short lived period of my life. I lived in Wales for about 3 or 4 years of my life. Those crucial years where a young impressionable mind is moulded into an inquisitive soul, hungry for vitality and success were spent in a beautiful country surrounded by people who cared for me and actually respected me.

The reasons behind me ending up there can’t have been coincidental. I’m sure that in the grand scheme of things; karma, fate, God or whatever you want to call the preprogramed cosmic destiny, wanted me to spend the early years of my life there as I’m sure that if they were spent in the current area I live I wouldn’t have taken the trouble to write this.

Years went by; high school, college, fun, laughter, tears. Introductions to people and potions I should never have even indulged in, others that I couldn’t have lived without, others that were fun while they lasted and I would never change for the world.

Jobs here and there, the young vulnerable shoots of a career in IT reaching up to the sunlight of success. Successes, failures, lost battles but, in my mind – many victorious wars along the way.

More years went by; heartache, longing, persistence, strength. A strength and determination that burned so brightly in my heart, fuelled by a deep routed belief that it would be futile to abandon my efforts; a strength that honoured me with one hell of a keepsake.

That seed of strength was planted by those years of sculpting from my life and experiences.

Just in the latest period of my life that strength has continued to burn brightly. I have built a home, married a beautiful wife and acquired an incredible circle of friends. Those friends who take the time to read this will know deep down just who they are. They are the immaterial people who don’t care who you are or where you are from. They take the rough with the smooth, they forgive the disappointments and embrace that light that you offer them from deep within and never take it for granted. (Sometimes, fondly known as “Kins Mongs” and others as “One Pre Fwim”) ;o)

I almost lost my beloved only days before we were due to be married. Perfect timing meant that she dislocated her shoulder resulting in an overnight stay in hospital. Due to incompetence; a wrongfully administered anaesthetic caused her breathing to flat line.

In that emergency room; the only time I have seen all hell break loose fuelled a fear within me that almost extinguished every last morsel of light from that fire in my belly. At 3am I called on the one person who ignited that original flame within me: My Father. He arrived just as I was going to pieces and reminded me what family was for.

I have also lost people very fond to me. Lost in both senses; disconnection of friendships and persons passed away. Even though those times will never return I can thank them from the bottom of my heart for the fond memories that they left with me.

The brightest of those memories; my wedding day; was the best day of my life and as mentioned in my speech it was shared a week with the worst.

These tattoos of memories are placed on the same shelf and illuminated by the same light that is created by my strength.

More recently I have been blessed with news that I am to become a Father, a daunting but exciting prospect. I have a wonderful family around me keeping my light shining bright and helping me by sharing theirs in times where mine needed fuelling.

Although there are many exciting times ahead it saddens me to come to the end of such an eventful chapter in my life. One that now belongs in a book that will be placed back on my shelf to be read again many time over in the years to come to remind me how I got to where I am today.

I think the best analogy to describe how I’m feeling is by using the hero of my childhood (and adult) years: Dr Who.

It was always really good watching Dr Who – It was 30 minutes where I was allowed to let my imagination run wild but it always made me sad the day where he came to regenerate. All those adventures that were shared by thousands of other kids just like me and then, that was it. Finished. The Doctor that everyone knew and loved so well was leaving. Next episode a new Doctor materialised. New, shiny, different, quirky. After a while everyone accepted him and got used to him and those new adventures began.

That’s where I am at the moment. The life I knew is coming to an end but in its place I am being given a new chapter. At the moment this chapter is just blank pages in a book filled with 30 years of stories and experiences.

One day, as long as the internet as we know it still exists; I will probably write a sequel to this account.

It will contain many years of many more memories and many more Dr Who’s!

The end of a chapter in the book of life...

Chris Bilsborough

Preston, United Kingdom

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

This is somthing I wrote for my blog shortly before Max was born…

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