Journal

Masonry And Me ........

A hollow building with no floor . Throw some gravel over here some more. Using a rake to create a graded floor . Measure this and measure that . Set some forms and learn some more .Adjust the level , snap your lines these are few things I have learned this time . Rebarb stakes , Footings and nails .Welding and learning to read a blueprint is not that easy . I watch and listen to every word , Its like a new story that I was never told .Spending more time in a new career gives me hope that my life won’t be in the customer field no more . But gain some skills to give my kids more .And soon that rickety old building will have its own concrete floor .

Calming , Soothing Scenery

Driving through mountainess terrains , observing the shallow and deep valleys . A sound of distress . My panic begins to set in .A sense of lonlieness and desperation . The vehicle comes to a hault . As panic sets in , I turn with my camera to admire a soothing scene .It was bueaty , The color of water and hillsides . Not a soul in site . It was bitter cold and your breathe could be seen from miles away.As I got out of the car I snapped two shots and my nerves began to calm . I knew my body could focus on the bueaty of this scenery .It was just that fast that something could change my insecurites and validate my emotions that I was given an oppurtunity to see the good out of the bad .When I look back on this and see the images I know that was the moment I learned to become optimistic.

MISSING YOU TERRIBLY

I knew I loved you when it all began . You came into my life and tried to distribute a game plan.It seemed as if it could better me , But my quest in this life had no fight left in me .To challenge change and go for the gusto, was a gamble . To start over we could have lived our lives in a shamble .Your love never seemed to be that simple , to beg , plead and borrow .It hurts to know I will never see you again , The pain in my heart begins to mend .I must go on , and live my life …..,So I can become prosperous and pass those values to my children, I know that I have skills and that is a given .Some sadness still remains but now it seems I know I have learned from my mistakes and cannot hurt from the wrath of pain.I love you my sweet , so much you don’t know but over the years this love…

WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER

There are days when life seems as if it were a copy machine . You place an image , press a button, and as many as you like re-appear.When life begins to copy itself it is time to change the original image . Reoccurence cannot happen when you implement a plan of change.Emotions , Your personal strengths and values are not others morals and expectations .But those images are used as motivational skills which increase endurance and give you images to a newer and better life .Those of us that boast and breg , are facing challenges .Inner challenges weaken the mind if we don’t aggressively change the stanima of our images we become not of population but nusiance to society .To know that our weaknesses , are our strengths is the gift of life.That helps us to know we are each a attribute to soc…

Your Children are Everything to You...........

Your children see you struggle to see their simplest wishes come true . They acknowledge that it may be not what they want ,but what it is that you do . The littlest of eyes stare right through you. wondering why it happened to you .And they ask just one question of you , Where is my daddy ? He is at work I say, just to know he walked out that very day.When things do not seem simple , you do what you can to make sure their day is the best .You cry to yourself at night when you lay down to rest .You can be the strongest , outgoing , inspirational person and there always seems there is someone to prey on this but know in your heart , your inner strength will always stop this right in its tracks and know that this crap won’t last .

And the Phone Rang..............

A strange drive houses not to plenty roofs caved in and the land so grainy. No trees? all I see is vacancy ?,. Acres and Acres passed by. I never seen a land of humps filled with cows aplenty .1696 miles away I never imagined life this way, from Washington state to Idaho then to Montanta on to North Dakota and on to Minnesota . Watching as the sun rose and fall . .A land so far and unknown to me coming from such a big city . The seasons changed so fast that seeing snow I cried at last .The bitter cold was there to last , bundled children and snow plows

I found myself wondering what i could do ,but go through my bags to double my shoes .and wrap my hands with superglue .…

I seen families pull together to assist one another for meal prep and to plan outings with one another .The day came on

What , Who am I and why?

I sat isolated for so long learning how to get through life so young.I left home to become a mom . I fought so hard to be strong . I conquered fear of the unknown .I cried , I layed around ,dreaming of how I could become known. I wandered for years looking to achieve the ultimate dream . I learned to work hard each day with only four hours a day of sleep.I worked two jobs to support my children . It grew old and I needed a change . I am home now doing the things I enjoy and have helped to start a small business.I worry that everything and everyone will not ever know that my desire still burns and my heart is yearning to become so much more.I know as the days go by and each moment spent I lose just one

more dime . My conscious aches because I don’t want to make some stupid mistake.…

I fell i
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