I should be here

I took a step into a stark room. It also happened to be very dark. An ugly man with skinny arms stared at me from the corner and retreated. I looked left, looked right, turned around and saw where I had been. My memories are now sorted into when I was there and when I wasn’t. This is how I know I should be here; no longer in that room, drowning in dry cement.

I sit on the gold, polished, timber flooring. Hard on my arse it hurts my bones. I hope somebody is coming to decorate this room. I hope that ugly man with skinny arms stops gawking at me and finds some help. We need a torch, but all I can find is a box of red-heads with only two attempts remaining.

A rat scuttles my way with a message; a clear and concise one. It tells me that nothing I wanted in the last room will make me happy. I tell it to fuck off but take its notion very seriously.

I decide to consider myself a risk-taker. I light one of two matches but it dies. There’s a draft in the room and that can only mean one thing; there’s a window in a wall. I marvel at my own intelligence.

The ugly man with skinny arms looks just as lost as I. Then it hits me; what if he thinks I’m ugly? That bastard! I haven’t showered in days! Tension starts to cultivate itself. It’s unwanted but welcomely accepted.

I hear rat noises. I hate rodents. I think there’s a whole family of pests in its own corner. The ugly man who thinks that I’m ugly is in one corner, the vermin family in the other. I feel around and confirm that I, too, am cornered by walls. So this leaves a mystery creature in the other.

Blankets, pillows and bed-heads all in the middle. The room must be refurbished. I am the leader because I am the only one with conscious thought that I can hear. This is how I know I should be here.

After a long period of hard work I finally refurbished the room. It could have been days! Months! Even years! I turn the light on and look at where I’ve been. It was a healthy project and the skinny man had long-fled. The refurbishing kept my mind off where I’d come from but I still haven’t found what I need to find. I still don’t know what it is that I need to find. I begin to believe that nothing will compete with where I came from. I look at my watch for the hour but it has melted in the heat of the fire. I run to get a bucket of water and try to save my rodent-dwelling. It can’t be saved but I don’t really mind. I walk off into nowhere in particular and search for what it is that I need to find.

I should be here

cangurito

Palmwoods, Australia

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