When a room is silent, its A/C always seems too cold.

When I make the sandwich myself, it never tastes that great.

When I zip my fly, I always wonder why I didn’t button up first.

When I button up first, I always forget to zip my fly.

When I repeat myself, I forget what I was saying.

When I listen to music, I like to close my eyes and see it write itself out on staves.

When I watch movies, I like to close my eyes and visualize the scenes myself.

When I read books, I don’t like to close my eyes.

When I close my eyes, I wonder whether I’ll ever remember right when I fell asleep.

When I fall asleep, I dream about things I never remember.

When I forget where my car keys are, I snap my fingers and say, “ahh…”

When I snap my fingers, people freak out because I use my thumb and ring finger.

When I get married, I will always wear my ring. Except for most of the wedding ceremony.

When I attend formal ceremonies, I never match my socks.

When I match my socks by accident, I get frustrated.

When I get frustrated, I forget how to speak for awhile.

When I speak, I force my voice a little lower. At least, that’s what people tell me.

When people tell me things, I tend to forget them in a couple of hours.

When I’ve been sitting somewhere for a couple of hours, I start to change my expressions in order to draw attention.

When I get bad attention, I hoard it and take the blame.

When I get good attention, I wave it off and try to cut it short.

When I cut a compliment short, I pretend not to notice that it offends people.

When I offend people, I try to understand it, but usually can’t.

When I don’t understand things, I get frustrated.

When I get frustrated, I forget how to speak for awhile.

When I forget how to speak, I hum.

When I hum, I sing the words and hum the accompaniment.

When I hum the accompaniment, sometimes I drum on my legs too.

When I drum on my legs at work, my boss treats me like a child and says, “Can you just sit still!”

When I am treated like a child, I get embarrassed, then immediately stop whatever it was I was doing.

When I abruptly stop doing things, I grow sullen at the reason.

When I grow sullen, I stop making sound altogether and think about sound instead.

When I think about sound, I wonder whether anybody else has a non-stop radio in his head that never shuts off.

When I tune in to the radio in my head, it plays RUSH a lot of the time.

When I play RUSH, I remember being a child and playing word games with my parents.

When I visit my parents, I pretend that if I wanted to, I could still climb up my dad’s stomach while he held my hands, then do backflips off of him.

When I did backflips off of my dad, he would grunt a little.

When he grunted, he reminded me of a bear.

When he came home after work, he always smelled like wood.

When he came home after work, Katy and I had to be quiet because he had to go to sleep right after dinner.

When I got hungry, I had to be quiet because I always got hungry 30 minutes before anyone else did.

When I got hungry, I would try to concentrate on not being hungry.

When I get hungry, I choose not to eat to save time or money.

When I save money, I use it to buy gasoline for my car.

When I buy gasoline for my car, I wish I had a bicycle or transporter device.

When I had a bike, it had giant pegs coming out the sides of both wheels.

When I was in junior high, that bike made me cooler.

When I was cooler, I didn’t get meaner. But everybody else did.

When I notice how everyone else has changed around me, I get sad.

When I get sad, I wonder why sadness exists.

When I realize that it might not matter why it exists, I appreciate sadness more.

When I appreciate sadness, I see better.

When I see better, nobody, nor nothing, can make me close my eyes.

Journal Comments

  • jetsta42
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  • sophietreloar
  • Juilee  Pryor