Love & Hate

I had a little epiphany today. It was at the post office – it was possibly triggered by the song playing on my borrowed “I can’t believe it’s not an ipod” mp3 player.

It sounds like a Star Wars quote, which I suppose, is not exactly a bad thing. Hate leads to the dark side. I guess, it’s so much easier to hate. Hating is often blaming others for our lack of success. Hating is the result of the truth being revealed that we’d rather not listen to. Think of almost any situation and you can come up with a hateful response to it that makes life a lot easier.

Hate can fester forever. It can be eternal – you’ve heard of people nursing a grudge for generations. That’s the power of hate.

So, let’s look at the obvious alternative, love. Is love easy? No. It’s not easy, it doesn’t make everything better, it requires effort beyond the call of duty and it needs to be constantly maintained. If hate is a leisurely descent to the dark side, love is like climbing a mountain. It’s treacherous, it’s difficult, it’s downright painful.

Logically speaking, considering the effort, love is not a winning proposition. It doesn’t make sense to love when the chances of it working are minor, when the struggle is so fierce. There are so many very rational reasons why we should not love.

Logic may have its place, but such a question is above logic. Maybe only the things hard won can be appreciated. Maybe it’s the challenge that drives us. Maybe it’s the hope that at some point, all the effort will be worth it. Maybe not this time, maybe not for decades, but one day … it will all pay off. All the blood and tears. What are tears but blood of the soul?

I reject the easy path. Maybe I’m insane. Maybe I’m just an idiot who does not listen to reason. But I reject the dark path, the dark side. I know I’ve faced the dark side and won – I can do it again. I’ve been called angel and demon and I guess I have been both, but the heavens are balanced on a razor’s edge of choice. I choose what I am and what I am becoming. Damned or redeemed, it shall be my choice and my choice alone – no one shall be responsible for my situation but me.

I will be no puppet of hate or blind fool of love – I will make my choices with open eyes.

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