Sometimes you see some really dumb shit in movies… like cars exploding when they fall more than 6 feet, Colt 1911 handguns that fire 11 rounds in a row… [the extended magazine only allows for “9+1”]

Sometimes you see stuff that just doesn’t make sense…

Countdown displays on TimeBombs.


Why? I’m guessing that the person who activated the bomb already knows that he set it for 5 minutes, and its not like he is gonna come back to check how long he has left until the bomb goes off.

It Is the ultimate in alarm clocks…. You don’t even need to be in the same room to hear the “alarm” go off.

Hell, you don’t even need to be in the same suburb to hear this alarm!!!

If it hasn’t gone “bang” in about 5 minutes, then the mad-bomber will know it hasn’t worked.

Perhaps the digital countdown is for anyone who finds the bomb?

How considerate! – the mad-bomber has let them know how long they have to live.

Granted, that is pretty cruel when you think about it, but considering the extra tech and expense that goes into creating an electronic control system with a digital read-out, why would you bother? It would be much easier to do it the good old analog way.

Coloured wires in TimeBombs.



I mean really???

The mad-bomber is such an anal-retentive tech geek that he insists on correctly colour-coding his wiring?


It seems unlikely that he would go to Dick Smith/Tandy/Electronic-Geek-Store-of-Choice and buy six inches of 10 different colours of wire, especially when once it is built and armed it really doesn’t matter what colour the wires are – its not like he is planning to “unwire” it anytime soon.

Red Wire / Green Wire.



This follows on from my previous rant.

Do they seriously expect us to believe that Mad-Bombers follow a blue-print on how to build and wire a timebomb? Where do they get these plans from? … the “Mad Bombers Monthly, Spring Catalogue”

More to the point… if all the Intelligence Agencies are so aware of how mad-bombers wire their bombs, then why don’t these mad-bombers just switch the wires around?

or… just use the same coloured wires???!!!

If I see another action film where the hero-de-jour has to make a last second decision between the red wire or the green wire then I am gonna throw my pizza at the TV.

Secret tracking devices that have a flashing light


How fucking secret is it gonna be if you put a great yellow flashing LED light on it?

And who exactly is that flashing light for?

Its not for the protagonist… the whole point of a tracking device is it enables you to follow something that you can’t see … so certainly a flashy little light is superfluous since the protagonist can’t see the thing he is tracking – let alone the tracking device itself!

It is certainly not for the person presently pursued by the protagonist. I’m fairly certain that the protagonist wouldn’t want them to find it since they would then throw it away thereby ruining his chance of tracking them.

Clearly its for the people in the audience watching the film. But fuck me, I just saw him place the tracking device, am I also so stupid that I need a flashy light on it?

If it was up to me I would tell the person that they have a flashy-tracking-device-thingy in their car/pocket/bag … audience members be damned!

Hand guns that go click-click when you point them at people.


Ok this one really pisses me off.

Handguns, on the whole are beautiful pieces of simple engineering. They are designed to do the same thing over and over and over again. Its one of the things I like about them… I just really like neat engineering.

Yes, yes, … I like bridges too.

But handguns don’t go click-click when you point them at people. In fact they don’t make any sound at all except when you put in a new magazine and cycle the slide to load a new round into the chamber.

Revolvers make no noise at all really… certainly nothing related to the relative direction in which the gun happens to find itself pointing at the time.

If I pointed a gun at someone and it went “click-click” I would be scared to fire the damned thing because something is obviously very very loose – and that aint good when it comes to guns.

Noisy clicky guns are a sure sign that you are about to hurt yourself very very badly.

While I’m talking about guns, who carries an unloaded gun?


I don’t mean unloaded as in completely empty, I am talking about nothing in the chamber.

Every time some goon picks up a shot gun, he has to cycle the damned thing first to put a shell in the chamber.

I suspect [quite strongly, actually] that if I was a bad person with the sort of intent to do bad things that would neccessitate the application of a shotgun to another person in an unpolite manner, then I probably would carry the thing fully loaded – 7 in the magazine PLUS 1 in the chamber so I am ready to rock and roll.

Maybe the baddie is worried about his gun accidentally going off and hurting some poor innocent person… but he could “lock and load” his gun by using the safety button and thus satisfy his personal need to support community safety when it comes to responsible firearm ownership.

Maybe using the safety button on guns is kinda wimpy for bad-ass nasty types… you know “oooh, look at Gerald – he uses the safety button!”

That sort of thing could seriously impact on a criminal’s sense of self worth.

and finally… cops who can shoot a baddie from 60 feet while on the run.


You know what… you couldn’t hit the side of a house from 60 feet if you were running.

Handguns are just about THE most useless weapon in the world once you get past about 20 feet.

Inside 20 feet they are definitely the weapon you should go for [allthough a knife is actually far more dangerous].

But there is no way that anyone could chase some baddie through the streets, up and down fire-escapes, over cars, through crowded shopping malls, and then pull out his hangun [with a 5inch barrel], and with one hand shoot the baddie.

I mean, if he was that good, why didn’t he do that first instead of doing all that running and climbing shit?

Me, I would have shot him first, screw the running.


Oh, in case you were wondering, this rant is Liam Neeson’s fault.

There goes 2 hours of my life I wont get back again…

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