A Birthday and A Year in Reflection

Today is…..

My birthday! A big 2-6, happy birthday to me. The past 26 years have taught me many things. Some of those include:

1. Take nothing and no one for granted. This year, I have learned that my life is one that has to go through changes! Nothing ever stays the same, no matter how much I want it to.

2. I have learned that the value of friendship cannot be measured. When you have friends willing to lay down everything that they have, sacrificing their time, comfort, and everything down to the last item of material goods that they have in the world- for YOU- that is true friendship!

3. I have learned the art of letting things go. People in my life who I have clung to too tightly for far too long, favorite treasures that have meant so much to me, but may have been hurting me all along, and relationships that have harmed me or my family in one way or another… It is time to let them all go.

4. Simplicity is where it is at! When your life is soooo complicated because of the things that you have done to distract yourself, it is time to reduce. I mean, I really have come to the conclusion this year that our subconscious mind (or perhaps a darker part of our lives) cause us to collect things and start things and do things until we have nothing else to do but … DO. The acronym that means so much to me is : B.U.S.Y. = Being Under Satan’s Yoke. And it is oh so true. We have decided to get rid of things that we have been hording for so long. Why hold it? In reality, It is holding you.

5. Be content in all things. the Bible says that John learned to be content in all things, even when he was in prison, he was content in his life. Why? How? Because when you realize that EVERYTHING is in God’s hands, you realize that there is no need to worry. When I began going through the darkest hour of my life, just over one year ago, God led me to read Hind’s Feet in High Places. What I have learned from that is that there are times in your life when God makes you walk through a valley- and not with happy angels and dewdrops- no, He makes us walk with Sorrow and Suffering. How is that for a merciful God?? Well, in reality, it is the most merciful thing that He can do for us in those times. The world will come against us, but if we have been “prepared for a time such as this” by the Lord leading us through our own times of suffering, then we will be ready when the world turns against us.

Regrets (I’ve had a few…)

Although most people say that you should live with no regrets, I do have to disagree with that to some point. I mean, even though we are technically forgiven, and all things are meant to happen for one reason or another, I feel like I am justified in having a few things that, knowing the outcomes, I would treat differently.

1. I regret making new friendships, and then leaving them hanging. I think that it is important to have friends, but I also know that having friends is a RESPONSIBILITY, that cannot be taken lightly. You have to nourish relationships of all kinds; and I feel as though I have let down some people because I have not held up my part of a relationship.

2. I regret holding in my feelings when it comes to things that REALLY matter to me. I think that because I have held my tongue so many times on what I consider to be major issues, I have led people to believe that doing those things are alright. Well, they are not. And I must say that in at least one case, I have had a major outburst where I let my emotions take control, and I finally let it out in one burst… well, it was not pretty. So for certain, I know that I should be doing that, no matter how small it seems, I will let people know when they are tap-dancing on those sensitive nerves- before it gets ugly!

In honest reflection, this year has been our most blessed to date. We have been blessed financially, we have been blessed with wonderful friendships, and we have been blessed to buy our first home. I give all of the glory to God in this. I have never been in such a place as this, to where I can GIVE selflessly, and without fear of losing what I have to give to another.

We blessed a homeless man with a coat, gloves, and hot pads because God led us to, and then in return, I had a flat tire, and people rushed to my aid… complete strangers! See, this is how our God works. We are blessed to be a blessing to others. And in turn, we get that back down the line!

I have all that I need, right here in my home; shelter, food, family, love, and my God. There is nothing that I am short of. I know that when you are on the mountaintop, though, you often have to climb back down. I am prepared for that. I have been there, and have learned the hard way.

Journal Comments

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