Invisible, Yet Vulnerable.

The nights breeze comes through my window, one of most refreshing things in the world after a hot Melbourne day, although my bedroom is still stuffy. It’s too hot to sleep so i climb out the window making sure it’s open fully so it’ll cool down by the time i get back. Climbing the fence to leave is the easy part, its getting back thats difficult so i make sure the side gates unlocked. The park behind my house is small, but ideal. It has a swing set, see saw and a slide. Simple, but perfect.
I climb to the top of the slide. It is my fortress. At this point I am invisible. People who walk through the park and the cars driving past cannot see me..I am invisible, yet vulnerable. I’m not there 5 minutes, I’ve only got through half a smoke, and he comes around the corner. Damn fate, damn fucking fate! He sits on the swing, oblivious to my presence and starts to write in his journal.
“You know, writing in this lights bad for your eyes,” he looks up, surpised, but not startled.
“Belle?” I climb down from my fortress where I’m invisible and sit on the swing next to his. I can see him smile under the moonlight. He is amazing. I pass him my ciggarette with a quarter left and smile back at him. “What you doing out here? It’s dangerous for girls like you to be out at night,” he gives me a cheeky smile. I roll my eyes and we giggle, which reminds me of how happy he makes me.
“What you writing?” I snatch his book from him playfully and he tackles me for it. We can’t stop laughing as he tickles me until i can’t breathe. I beg him to stop and i give it back. As catch our breath, I’m thinking, this is the good times.
We’re lying on the tan bark, heavy breathing and looking into eachothers eyes. God how i’ve missed this. I look deeper and deeper into his eyes..Into his soul.. As he has left it there for me to see. He’s so alive tonight, although when I look deeper, I see a broken boy, waiting to be fixed. He’s not smiling anymore. I’m consumed. This is all my fault. He is broken..
“God, Jesse, what have I done to you?” He looks away, he hates it when i say it’s my fault.
“Belle, I..” He sighs. “I’m sorry..” We both look away.
“Me too.” And he looks back at me, annoyed.
“Don’t be. Why would you be sorry? You did nothing wrong.”
The note scrunched up in my pocket lands in his hand as i walk away into the darkness.

I’m sorry for the way this has ended.
I’m sorry for the things that I said.
I’m sorry that I didn’t know what I had untill it was gone.
I’m sorry that I can’t take back what happened.
I’m sorry that I didn’t cherish my time with you.
I’m sorry for when I was moody with you.
I’m sorry that I didn’t make enough effort.
I’m sorry for fucking everything up.
I’m sorry I didn’t appriciate you as much as you deserved.
I’m sorry I was so selfish.
I’m sorry that I’m getting in the way of your new happiness.
I’m sorry for everything…

You’re amazing.
You’re handsome.
You’re so much more then I deserve.
You’re adorable.
You’re loveable.
You’re not just anyone.

I love you, Jesse.

Invisible, Yet Vulnerable.

Kim J

Joined November 2009

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Artist's Description

So this is kind of how it happened…

Artwork Comments

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