Check Please!


The boys meet at the usual diner, and they talk about the usual nonsense

Sean: ….Well I was actually introduced to ironic sarcasm by my wife because…

Greg: Wait what! lol

Sean: Ironic sarcasm….

Eric: Is anyone going to eat the broccoli!

Sean: Who the fuck keeps ordering salad! Eric, what the hell man!

Eric: What wrong with salad!

Dave: It’s really good for your health, Sean. You should really look into it

Sean : Screw you, man! That defeats the whole purpose of going to a diner.

Greg: Irony is a dish served cold, my friend….with ranch.

Dave: …at a fast food restaurant

Sean:…Just something to hold on to before your burger arrives

All laugh

Sean: As I was saying before Eric here cut me off. I really hate you, man. lol anyway, the difference between irony and sarcasm is confusing as it is, now there is this new thing that I found out called ironic sarcasm…

Greg: no such thing! Sorry, that’s just you being Sean.

Sean: Seriously, dude, think about it…

Greg: No! sarcasm is already ironic. It’s like searching for the irony of an irony

All: Inception!!!

Greg: First of all let’s define Irony

Sean:Well it’s…

Eric: Irony is like a guy taking his car to travel a freakishly long distance instead of taking a plane, then dies in a horrific car accident while the plane that he was supposed to take lands safely

Dave: Damn! I mean good example, but Damn!

Greg: ha ha wow Eric. See that’s why I hate having writer friends

Sean: He’s the only writer friend you’ve got, Greg! lol

Greg gives Sean the finger

Sean: lol Irony is like nature pulling a sick joke on you

Eric: Actually, I’m not taking nature’s side or anything, but nature doesn’t have to be the perpetrator. It all depends on…

Dave: like for instance, if you tell a guy that keeps on harassing you “hey, I’m not gonna fuck with you today, alright?” Then he ends up raping you that day, that’s irony!

Greg: What!!!!!!!

They all laugh

Eric: That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?

Sean: Dude, you’re just trying to one up Eric’s story

Dave: No! I was…

Greg: Yea, but couldn’t you still say that, that’s nature saying “ Ha ha! You got got!”

All talk at the same time

Dave: You guys, shut up! I wasn’t even done!

Greg: Alright, go ahead. Guys let him finish.

Dave: Ok. Then you get home and your wife says, when she sees you limping “ Honey, you look like you had a “hard” day today!”

All laugh!

Dave: ….That’s irony too! And then you reply “ No, I got fucked!”

All laugh hysterically

Dave…..Now that is sarcasm!

Eric: Oh God! And all that in the name of literature

Sean: Ha Ha, man you’re funny!

Greg: So sarcasm is when you say something and you’re fully aware of the irony that’s in it.

Dave: lol pretty much

Waitress: Are you gentleman interested in some desert?

Sean: Depends, what do you taste like?

Eric: Yes, bring us the menu please

Dave: How does it feel to be constantly ignored by her, Sean?

Sean: It honestly feels quite good, Dave, I appreciate you giving a fuck

Greg: Ha ha, there you go again, that’s sarcasm

Sean: Ok now ironic sarcasm…

Eric: It’s a statement within a given context that is sarcastically ironic

Greg: Wow, Eric, you’re a genius!

Sean, and Dave: Sarcasm!

Sean: I have an example. My wife literally rapes the word cute. I mean, she says it all the fucking times. Anyway, I was talking to this lady at the gym…

Dave: More like flirting!

Sean: …More like talking, ok! So I said to her “ I’m not trying to be sexually forward or anything, but you have a cute butt.”…OK, I was flirting a little…

Dave, Greg, Eric laugh

Sean: And then i said”… And I don’t even like using the word cute at all. I think that cute is overused and slightly girlish. I don’t use the word cute, Obviously, on account of me being very manly. But in all honesty, you have a really cute butt!”

Eric: Did you really tell her that?

Sean: Yea! I swear on my dead grandma!

Dave, Greg, Eric laugh

Greg: Ok, but that’s not ironic sarcasm

Sean: Yes it is! Let me explain. When I told her that I wasn’t being sexually forward when indeed I was, that was sarcasm, but let’s forget that for the purpose of this argument. When I used cute to describe her butt I genuinely do not like using that word. Ironically, because I hate how my wife uses it so much, I find myself using it sometimes. That is the irony. But then I continued to use the word three more times on purpose. That’s sarcasm. Hence, the ironic sarcasm

Eric: This cake taste really good, you guys. I’ll have to order it again next time. Anyway, I’m going to have to disagree with you on that, Sean.

Sean: OK?

Eric: The irony and the sarcasm happened separately. So how can you call it an ironic sarcasm?

Sean: Of course it happens separately, It’s….

Greg: Yea, I’m gonna have to go with Eric on this. If anything should be considered ironic sarcasm, it would be the first sentence that you chose to dismiss.

Sean: How?

Greg: First of all, you mentioned how sarcastic it was to tell her that you weren’t being sexually forward when in fact you were. That is a sarcastic statement, we agree on that. But you completely missed the irony of it all. Here you are flirting, not talking, flirting…

All laugh

Greg: Ok? you’re flirting with this fit girl at the gym. To put it in context, let me rephrase that for you, you went behind your wife’s back and decided to flirt with this girl, but as a pick up line, you use the one word that you hate that she uses. But even more ironic is that you don’t do it on purpose. If anything, bro, that’s ironic sarcasm

Sean: Holly shit! Dude, you may be right!

Dave: That was really deep, my man!

Greg: If anything…

Eric: ha ha ha, I want you all to really take a moment and think about what we are talking about. You have to appreciate the irony of this whole conversation…

Sean: Deep, deep stuff, man!

Eric: …I’m sitting here with a lawyer, a surgeon, and a freaking psychiatrist, and…

Sean: Well Psychiatrists aren’t really that far from insanity so that’s not helping your point

Dave: Don’t even go there because in the case of Irony versus Sarcasm, you’re a fucking ironic sarcasm!

Sean: Really, Dave, that’s your comeback? lol

Greg: I dissect “things” for a living so that’s right up my alley

Eric: Where is that waitress?

Sean: You’re gonna have a go at her?

Eric: yea and charm her with my poetry, I don’t think so. Oh! There she is! Check please….

Check Please!


Joined September 2009

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 7

Artist's Description

If you do not want to end up brain dead, and you are easily offended, please skip this entry.

This is a comedic skit ( but it only is if you laugh lol)

Read on

What do you think of the concept “Ironic sarcasm”?


bloo comedy

Artwork Comments

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