What is the name of your armchair?

What is the name of your left-handed armchair? I used to have one but it went to join a television show about people who like to make things out of macaroni and such. Frozen yoghurt? Why yes I would love some. This will be a fringe benefit scheme from now on if I am to be catching the train each day to the place where I once met some interesting bears and a hippo. There was a pedal and I stepped on the juice. It didn’t really spill very much, just a small amount of leakage on the floor. Orange juice I believe it was, yes… it wasn’t pulpy, more of a thin consistency with a pinch of sugar and a dash of Sunraysia simply lemon.

So after that debacle I decided it might be fun to begin lifting up leaves in search of some stray fragments of possible abandoned factory farms. The fiftieth time I saw red lettuce was on the day of the trial of ’74 about the shoebox with algophobia. I remember it like it was yesterday because it was warm and I wore my blue shoes and I remember I was thinking and I asked myself, ‘Why has it taken me so long to realize the benefits of fresh cotton wool?’ and that’s when I came up with my formula for frozen peanut butter sandwiches.

So of course back then we didn’t wear Velcro or zippers or those new fangled press-studs but we did enjoy the luxury of rotten potato peelings sewn together to hold our pants up. And lemonade made from 40% real lemonade? Hmm. Thank you very much for the biscuit, but I would much prefer a chopped walnut. So… did I ever tell you about the time I saw an abandoned gardening glove on the ground? Oh it was magical, the dirt fragments glistened in the sunshine and I celebrated by eating at least four twigs.

How do you know what my favourite cereal is? You never did tell me yours. I can probably guess but I will need a bowl, a shiny spoon, and possibly some milk… What is the meaning of this empty cake tin? Is there no more cake? Is that why there are crumbs? Now we will definitely need milk. That’s a given. And a taken. And a whole big lotta pancake makin’.

Be careful with that onion ring, I had it specially made from a real onion. Once on the train there were some onion rings but they had been deep fried and put in a bag. And two people got stuck and I nearly spewed on the old lady sitting in the next carriage talking to the fish guy about a party on a piece of wood with an esky and some frozen ice cubes… On a normal day I would have thought this was a marvellous thing to be involved with but today I was grumpy and I had at least three chips on my shoulder. One was salt & vinegar, one was plain and I can’t be sure but I think the other one was chilli flavour. But it could’ve been barbecue. Probably was barbecue.

What is the name of your armchair?


Joined June 2008

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