A shoelace swallowed my light globe

Yesterday I watched a shoelace swallow a light globe and it would have been a somewhat victimless crime if it hadn’t been for the ceiling fan hiding behind the curtains.

I never knew that. Thankyou for showing me the way, Mr 54% fat milk whale. And your tongue is as big as an average elephant but that’s what happens when lemmings use the telephone to call long distance…

Your nostril has no boogers. Is that a deliberate attack on my waxless ears?

Do you know I have a BLACK BELT in my cupboard? Well I do. And watch yourself cos I know how to use it (Simply thread the belt through the loops situated at the waistline of your pants [at the top]. Be mindful to position the buckle of said belt at the front so the button(s) and/or zip of your pants are easily accessible. Remember to adjust the notches according to your body size and eating habits).

Now that we’ve got that sorted why don’t you tell me about the time you danced on a biscuit?

I remember it well. It was an iced vovo.

Arrowroot? Shredded wheatmeal? Milk coffee?

Well, my friend, all of these are delicious and taste mighty fine with tea in a cup but they are by no means suitable for dancing upon.

9 out of 10 potted plants recommend the following biscuit varieties:

• Honey jumbles
• Hundreds & thousands
• Tiny teds
• Scotch finger
• Saos
• Barbecue shapes
…And of course
• Iced vovos

A shoelace swallowed my light globe

bexynoob

Joined June 2008

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