Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....


three premieres in three days!


and yes unaccountably I still do premieres (I’m fast approaching something like 400, which is a bit disturbing, or perhaps cool) – and after a brief hiatus of three weeks, followed by two in two weeks (’The Absolutely Fabulous":
movie and Legend of Tarzan
), it then peaked with a rather surprising three in three days!

Here’s the highlights, with the individual full-length journals here
, here
and here

Firstly, on Sunday 10th July, it was the Pixar sequel Finding Dory

In a world of soulless and opportunistic reboots, I’m actually starting to respect the noble ideal of an honest and legitimate sequel. Is that bad?

I don’t know who this is, but my fear is I am not nor have I ever been this cool. HE’S WEARING A POCKET-WA

Photos from the Absolutely Fabulous premiere

Like many things British, Absolutely Fabulous is one of those things that passed me by. And here where I sit surrounded by 52% of Britons who no longer want to be part of Europe, perhaps it’s my fault that I never felt a reason to want to adapt to that culture, just like they always felt a little apart.…

It’s a strange world we live in… but until the countdown clock hits zero and they start herding people to the nearest border and suggest us foreigners get out (or… alternatively I leave), I’m going to keep doing these things. For now.

Here’s how this one went down:
(as usual the Full Journal for the premiere is here on my own website)

“How was the TV show? It was abs… well it was okay, you know?”

“And This is me taking a photo of you taking a photograph of me photographing you. Now, call Jo

Trooping the Colour 2016

June 11th, 2016.…

Technically ‘trooping the colour’ refers to a larger event that involves The Queen inspecting her troops. You need to apply for a lottery to have a chance of viewing that inspection. I didn’t, however like many events, you can line the route and watch it all go past to and from Buckingham Palace and along The Mall…

Up until today, I’d successfully managed to convince myself that Trooping the Colour was the kind of thing I didn’t need to photograph. Which is weird, since I can be convinced to photograph pretty much anything. Here’s how it went down:

A larger journal of the event is here

Forgetting that it’s before 7am, this is quieter than I’ve ever seen Buckingham palace. I guess The Queen has given strict instructions to keep things the f**k quiet ‘cause it’s a Saturday

Photos from the X-Men Apocalypse Premiere

Last week, I had a rare (but not unpleasant) three events in three days I was able to photograph. On the Sunday, it was The 2016 TV Bafta Awards , on Tuesday it was Alice Through The Looking Glass but the big one was on the Monday – the cryptically and enigmatically titled "global fan screening’ of X-Men : Apocalypse .…

I’m not the hugest fan of the franchise (but then again I “walked out of Captain America Civil War”, despised “Batman v Superman” like most people, and like right-thinking indvidual I took one look at the “Fantastic Four” reboot and wiped it from my memory)… but as a premiere, it wasn’t bad. Here’s a summary of how it went down (nb. the full journal – longer – is here )

Like many other premieres I’ve done at BFI Imax, there is merit in finding a good spot on a small step/pe

Photos from the Captain America : Civil War European Premiere

The ordeals, trial and tribulations I had to go through in order to experience the European Premiere for Marvel’s “Captain America : Civil War” would require too many viking poets to adequately collaborate on, so I’ll be brief here and put the larger full-length journal here on my own premieres website in case you want to similarly suffer. I mean… uh… enjoy.…

But here’s a summary of what went down:

Through a combination of finding two sympathetic souls in the Security Detail upstairs and a French woman so willing to get a photograph with Jeremy Renner she swapped me for my Green downstairs wristband, I had my spot on the balcony (woo!). I used a similar location on the other side at last year’s Avengers Age of Ultron

It’s for sale, right here right now. Pick up only.

Our first ar

Photos from the 2016 Olivier Awards


and for the third year in a row I felt more than comfortable showcasing my abject lack of knowledge in all things theatre related. I’d done the Oliviers in 2014 , and the Oliviers in 2015 … and here I was again at the Oliviers in 2016

The larger sample of shots and commentary is on my website here
but here’s a sample of some of the more noteworthy shots:

#AngryMascot. Actually, I’d like to think that due to my tireless campaigning over the statue’s glowering intimidation over past two years, the face on this year’s award is slightly more benign.

“Did somebody say something about free popcorn?”

Either this is The Lorax, or maybe Dame Judi Dench REALLY doesn’t want people to ask her for autographs at this event.

“I gave my two-year old a box of polka dot stickers to play with… and t

photos from the 'Batman v Superman' European Premiere

Although I don’t always post them on Redbubble, I’m still going to London Premieres whenever I can and posting them on my ‘home’ site of . The most recent Very Large one was on 22nd March, for Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice . This is just a ‘teaser’ subset, the full journal is located HERE

Early morning setup. The posters are about 1.5 times the usual size, but the giant canvases in the background are the real prize, if you can somehow charter a private van to take it home.

So here’s where I find myself. At the not-quite-base of a giant “V” shape, a giant stage to my right, and two large ‘arms’ stretching to the Empire (far right) and the Odeon (far laft). But the question you’re probably asking (because it’s very fundamental) is : why would I stand there of all plac

Elle Style Awards and London Fashion Week 2016

way back in the day, a younger more impressionable me used to head out with a camera and photograph the strangeness of London Fashion Week. Not from the catwalks and press junket (because how does a 9-5 Pricing Analyst get access to THAT?) – but from streetside, where the wannabes, the weirdos, the fellow freaks and oddballs congregated.…

I posted the results in London Fashion Week Journals back in 2013 (and they were even featured by Redbubble), but thanks to the vagaries of facebook weblinking, those journals have been ravaged by the sands of time and irrelelvance…. until I retrieved them and reposted them on my website this year, expanded and enhanced

London Fashion Week 2013
London Fashion Week 2013

And embarrassingly (?) three years later I’m still doing my thing, along with grudgingly

The 2016 Baftas - Dicaprio! Spielberg! Inarritu! Winslet

For the fifth year in a row, on a cold Sunday in February, the Baftas took place in London. I’d queued for quite a bit less than I thought I would for my wristband on the Saturday, and some 24hrs later I was back, hoping that I was wearing enough layers to stave off hypothermia (and possibly the sharp nails to people clawing at Leonardo DiCaprio and Leonardo DiCaprio.…

Here’s how it went down:

(nb : if you want to ‘experience’ the larger, full-length journal, it’s here at my dedicated premieres website . I’ve also put links to the premiere journals for the movies that ‘contributed’ to the Baftas)

The event is sponsored by the telecommunication company I use as my mobile telephony provider. They’re awful, and no amount of paying to put their logo everywhere at this event will change that. I

The Zoolander2 Premiere - Stiller! Wilson! Ferrell! (Valentino!)

If there is more to life than being really, really, ridiculously semi-competent in the field of IT price modelling, then one day I intend to find out what that is.…

Until then, I’ll keep slouching around London’s Leicester Square when I can….. especially for a Zoolander sequel. Here’s how it went down (with the larger journal here on my website ):

It’s been 15 years since the world was last graced with a Zoolander movie.. and meanwhile Disney will be packing in Star Wars sequels like piles of underwear from now until the end of time.

“But why male models??”

Penelope Cruz and I appear to have made a connection….which is a bit of a surprise as I felt I’d made more of a lasting impression on her fur coat at the premiere of ‘Nine’ all those years ago.

“I’m just going to stop and ogle my perfec

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