Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

I Give It A Year premiere - Byrne! Baker! Driver!

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really have any particular enthusiasm for this premiere – the film held no interest, the weather was cold, and some days the call of a warm cafe and a decent book to read is just too great.

It’s in moments like this that I believe it’s necessary to get past the indifference and find the motivation to get out there and do what has to be done. Because if not me, then who? (actually, heaps of people – there is quite a crowd of DSLR-wielding amateurs at these things nowadays). And with that bit of faulty reasoning in place, here’s how it went down in Leicester Square for this one.

It’s the lack of explosions, people wearing sunglasses, a gigantic list of stars or a bizarre new font type that leads me to decude that it’s not a sci-fi or action or animated feature. Hence… Romantic Comedy?

Our first arrival is Australia’s own Rose Byrne, a name that has resonance in my dim dark past (OMG – on imdb it says she plays DORME the handmaiden who dies in the opening explosion of Star Wars Episode II!!). However, more recently she was an agent in X-Men First Class, if she otherwise looks familiar in her older grown-up guise.

“You managed to find a photo of me wearing almost nothing. Well played guys, not creepy at all”.I was in the ‘Red Zone’ which means “Standing Among The Autograph Dealers”. Kind of like being a lone salmon in a piranha horde just as a gazelle steps into a river. Though none of those animals live on the same continent (?) I’m hoping the image is illustrative and not too many zoologists are reading this.

“I’m not actually in this movie, I’m just pointing my finger at you so that attention is drawn away from your prettiness and my dubious social status” Anthropologists will also find much to enjoy when people-watching at a London film premiere.

Minnie Driver is best known for playing the love interest in Goodwill Hutning, a role for which she also received her (to date) only Academy Award nomination. The guy with the beard in the background is sometimes called “Captain Birdseye”, but not by me.

Rafe Spall and Guest provide fantastic profile shadows. Rafe Spall has become semi-ubiquitous at premieres recently, showing up (and starring in) Life of Pi and Prometheus

Steve Merchant is at far left and tall enough to reach into the lower troposphere, and is best known for his association with comedian Ricky Gervais. Rafe Spall appears not to have heard of him?

“Sorry, bro. When I gave you my car keys earlier I really did think you were just a taller than average valet.”

Steve Merchant leaves a trail of uncertainty behind him.

Meanwhile, The Mentalist’s Simon Baker probably got the loudest screams of the evening, which always makes me smile as the loudest screamers are the Autograph Dealers in the ‘Red Zone’, and they’re 95% male.

I don’t watch The Mentalist, so I can’t vouch for the awesomeness or otherwise of Simon Baker.

However, under duress, I will of course vouch for the awesomness of Simon Baker! Plus he’s Australian, so there is that.

In the far distance, Rose Byrne looks uncertain. I’ve shifted position away from the mutant crush of the autograph dealers and found a perch about forty meters away from the press photographers, shooting into the light. (Why yes, in almost every respect, I’m very much like Jeremy Renner’s character in The Avengers!)

Rose Byrne and Minnie Driver and a lot of photographers. I think I might have hit the theoretical maximum that a 200mm zoom and f2.8 can accomplish. Plus I’m cold.

This view is all very Hollywood… until I reveal I’ve moved and am standing under the awning of a giant Burger King restaurant. That said, I will say that their DIY self-drink mixing stations is one of the marvels of the fast food age. Plus it’s warm(er)

And you know, once my attention wavers sufficiently away from the glitz and glamour of a London Film Premiere and instead of questionably healthy American Cuisine, it’s time to head home.

Until next time? Probably!

It joins my overflowing “Archive of Movie premieres”:

The most recent additions to which were:

The Last Stand – Arnie!
Flight – Zemeckis! Denzel!
Django Unchained – Quentin! Jamie! SamuelLJackson!

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