Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

BAFTAS 2010 (Part2, feat. Winslet, Firth, Cameron and R-Patz)


If you’re still reeling from Part 1 of the BAFTAS journal and wondering if the buildup to photos of Rpatz will end in disappointment, don’t worry. They might. Disappointment on my side was felt by having Uma Thurman present an award at the ceremony, but opting not to walk the red carpet. Totally not fair! And I missed director Katherine Bigelow, who rushed down the red carpet while I was probably photographing Tarantino…

Anyway, when we last journalised, we were admiring alleged alien crop circle tan marks on Kristen Stewart, and we now resume the action with:

Carey Mulligan answers some (hopefully not too difficult) questions, as the rain starts gently drizzling and umbrellas start coming up, and decent angles start disappearing, and I start whimpering gently..

This would appear to be Stanley Tucci, who played a character called Nigel in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ (thanks, and was nominated for his portrayal as the bad guy in the Peter Jackson directed The Lovely Bones. (I do hope that wasn’t a spoiler or anything…)

I don’t know who these people are. Maybe they’re famous, but I just like the casual way they seem to be walking straight towards me like they’ve just remembered I owe them money.

The girl on the right with the sparkly dress might catch your eye (and she’s actress Jodie Whittaker) but possibly the more ‘important’ actress is wearing the white dress to the left – she’s Bonnie Wright and she plays Ginny in the Harry Potter films. (I think Harry Potter fans were too scared to mix it and possibly come head-to-head with Twilight fans at what was probably the latter’s night)

I think the guy on the far left might be ‘somebody of note’ (with apologies to everyone else in the world, who is in their own way just as noteworthy), but I’m more intrigued at the flame in the background, as it appears the winter Olympics might just have broken out in London.

It’s Vanessa Redgrave, who picked up a BAFTA Fellowship on the night (which I’m given to understand is a Very Big Deal), and could be an outside chance for a medal in the freestyle aerials event if my Olympics theory is right.

“Job 314. Heh… yeah, that was me” If you know what I’m talking about then… well, you know what I’m talking about

Best meditative zen pose of the evening goes to…. (sorry ‘Twilight’ Fans, this is an award I give out, and you can’t just vote in your millions from every ip address on Earth just so you can influence an award like you did with Kristen Stewart, who unsurprisingly won the Rising Star BAFTA with a vote count of approximately six times the population of planet Earth

Actor Colin Firth is asked how he rates his chances as part of the bobsled four…

With an eyebrow lift like that, I don’t care, YOU ARE FAMOUS, SIR! (Apologies if you’re famous for something even more notable than the eyebrow lift.. but even so, congrats on the expression)

Colin Firth, who ended up winning the BAFTA for Best Actor for a role (A Single Man ). He actually wrote an email to the director declining the role offer but was distracted from sending it when his fridge repair man arrived, and Firth then later reconsidered it. I’m not making this up… (well.. Firth might have been… but he mentioned it in his speech)

Host for the night was Jonathan Ross. Despite having been the UK for nearly two years and certainly knowing who he is and what he looks like, I’ll be honest – I had no idea he had so much trouble pronouncing the letter ‘R’.

… and his name is Mackenzie Crook, too, so this is not a particularly difficult caption.

I kind of like the two points of interest created by some slight (but not too egregious) photoshop work here. Actress Kate Winslet on left, Actor Andy Serkis on the right.

Director James Cameron and wife (checking wireimage right now… hold on) ‘Suise Amis’ approach the interview stations. As is by now well known, he did not win the BAFTA for Best Picture or Best Director for Avatar on the night – that was won by his ex-Wife (!) Katherine Bigelow for ‘Hurt Locker’. Still, a couple of billions in box office gross will soften much of that blow, I imagine.

Sometimes you get somebody else’s flash working for you remarkably well and end up with a good photo effect. In this case, 1 photo out of 1,357 taken on the night. If you haven’t watched Avatar, put aside a good three hours and see it. If you only have an hour, feel free to read my 7000 word script synopsis (I did it because I wanted to, okay!)

The reason for the beagles and cough impenetrable security for the night : A member of the royal family, in this case HRH Prince William, the future king of England, if my knowledge of royal genealogy is accurate. (And why wouldn’t it be….)

HRH Prince William. It’s such an odd backlit silhouette I kind of can’t not include this photo in the collection. It’s a portrait silhouette I’m looking forward to seeing on the backs of Commonwealth Coins one day, perhaps.

One more, just to show that a blurry shot can have some (cough) artistic merit. The Prince was apologising to the crowd for not being able to stay longer to sign and/or shake hands and/or kiss babies or whatever other request was being made of him

For the second time in just over a year (Revolutionary Road being the other), Kate Winslet and I Share A Moment (And, fittingly, the photo is slightly blurry as she does seem to have some effect on me… something not even the newly-single Charlize Theron can lay as immediate a claim to). And I love the expression of the reporter on the left. Dude, Ms Winslet is married and has kids so I don’t think you have much of a chance either

The first of only two times in the evening that the semi-distorted mirror/poles strewn around the place allowed me to take a double/image shot. As opposed to merely confusing the hell out of a fragile Pentax autofocussing system…

“Leo’s signed up for not one but two sequels to Titanic after James follows up Avatar? Woah”. I can’t say for sure, but who knows.

Actress Tamsin Egerton can’t stay to chat. Offhand, I think she was in St Trinians 2. Or, you know, the premiere for that film. (In my world, that amounts to much the same thing, or more so!)

Actor Mickey Rourke and what I will describe as ‘his latest Russian Girlfriend’ even though to be fair I have no idea how many there have been, or if the number is simply one. He’s the bad guy in the next Iron Man film, which horribly means I’ve now snapped both him and Robert Downey Jnr at two different events each, while the far prettier Scarlett Johansson photo count stands at 0.00.

The second time I tried the reflection thing, it didn’t work so well. James Cameron again, and he graciously signed Moleskine Journal V for me at the ‘Avatar’ premiere. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep a journal in future if I can’t get it signed by somebody passably famous.. it just won’t seem the same! (And FYI : I don’t offer my journal out to be signed to just anyone )

It’s about one third of the face of Robert Pattinson.
(I know, right?)

It’s almost the entirety of the face of Robert Pattinson. Honestly, I haven’t seen ‘Twilight’ but I thought the first book was not particularly great. I have nothing bad to say about his performance as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, though…

Mickey Rourke is at too close a range for me to consider any kind of smarmy insult. Even here, at home, sitting at my laptop one day later

Oh, look. It’s that guy. (The one checking his camera to see if he got that photo of the flame to turn out properly. There sure were a lot of girls screaming at him. It seems photographers are held in higher and higher esteem among The Ladiez than I’d previously thought..)

There are six billion human beings on the planet, so I guess if you’re Robert Pattinson and everyone else isn’t, you might as well leverage it. Somebody should probably check to see if that girl with the green jumper is okay, though…

Until next time? Unlikely… but if I’m in town again for the BAFTAS, then sure. Maybe the Logie Awards? (shudder)

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