Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

"State of Play" Premiere, London (Crowe! Mirren!)

After yesterday’s all-stars in attendance Star Trek Premiere it was perhaps a little disappointing that the ‘World Premiere’ of the film “State of Play” somehow manged to be a bit like “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” premiere – ie. less than half the people showed up. Still, two big names did, and that’s probably two more than I really need to go to these things…

Jason Bateman didn’t attend. Rachel McAdams didn’t attend. Ben Affleck didn’t attend. Yellow Freaking Cap Guy didn’t attend. Until I checked wireimage, I couldn’t even say with certainty that the director attended. And yet, this was apparently the ‘World Premiere’? Never mind, the main acting talent was there, so not all was lost.

Glad I snapped a couple of lazy shots in the direction of this guy – he’s the director, Kevin MacDonald. (Phew!)

Dame Helen Mirren (Oscar, Best Actress ‘The Queen’) arrives. Per imdb she’s won a staggering 63 awards for acting. And not just the shabby ones and one Oscar. We’re talking four BAFTAS, four Emmy Awards, two Cannes festival awards and a couple of Golden Globes before I got bored of scrolling down the list.

So I’m a fan of lacework…. who knew?

Incredibly, a celebrity I actually recognise for once! He’s Jamie Bamber and he played Lee Adama (‘Apollo’) in Battlestar Galactica. What do I win??

I’m not sure what the relevance of Bianca Gascoigne is in the context of this (or any) premiere. But once again, she and some other lady called ‘Tamara Ecclestone’ showed up. Well, okay. But only because Rachel McAdams wasn’t there.

She’s pretty, her name is Hannah Spearitt, I don’t know what she does, but her boyfriend is also an actor and they look cute together. Isn’t it always the way? I bet HE doesn’t know how to run a simple PROC LOGISTIC in SAS and interpret (some of) the results.

Yellow Cap Guy wasn’t at this premiere. I choose to believe it’s due to a bloodfeud with this guy – Russell Crowe. An honourary Australian whenever he wins an award or an accolade, but generally considered a New Zealander whenever he punches up a waitress or headbutts a seal or something violent like that.

Russell Crowe has one an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a Bafta and a rather implausibly titled ‘Actor of our Lifetime’ award from Empire Magazine. At most dinnertables that would be freaking massive. But seated at a dinnertable with Dame Helen Mirren, that would be rather underwhelming (his assistant is pointing her out, no doubt…)

Russell Crowe was very friendly at the premiere (I even have shots of him smiling!) – in fact I think he actually didn’t bother going in to the screening, preferring instead to stay outside for pretty much the whole time, signing autographs at literally every corner of the crowd. Well played, sir

He looks familiar and a check online reveals him to be Charles Dance. Either I have a really good memory for movies like Alien3 and Last Action Hero, or I have a secret alter ego who watches a lot of stage productions, or it was just a lucky concidence.

I had a credited role in an ABC miniseries in the late 1980s (which imdb does not acknowledge) but even if it did, that really isn’t enough to hobnob with the likes of Helen Mirren and Russell Crowe. Or, if I’m honest, pretty much anyone attending these things

Helen Mirren and Russell Crowe share a laugh (“Hahahaha” “Hahahahaha”). I hope it’s at Ben Affleck’s expense, just because.

Smiling Russell Crowe, no anger and no violence. All the sports shops making a brisk trade in mouthguards and NFL helmets in preparation for this premiere were just profit-mongering on scare tactics. (And he’s Aussie once more!)

And guess what? There’s another premiere this week – on Thursday. That one I’m not yet sure about. There’s a bit of a quiet period (or at least ‘less dense’) period for a while, if my sources are accurate. Until then, I should probably actually watch some of these films rather than just hang and chill at their premieres, huh?

The Archive of Premieres

The last few:
Star Trek – Abrams! Bana! Quinto! Pike!
17 Again – Zac Efron!!! Eeee!!!
The Boat that Rocked – McCartney! Halliwell!.. even some of the Cast showed up!
Fast and Furious – Diesel! Walker! Brewster! Rodriguez!
The Damned United – Broadbent! Sheen!
Monsters vs Aliens – Witherspoon! Sutherland!

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