berndt2

Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

BELLE premiere - Felton! Wilkinson! Mbatha-Raw! Gadon!

The last premiere I went to was last week and Tom Cruise’s Edge of Tomorrow . Now, just one week later and London’s Southbank gets its second consecutive premiere, with the little known (?) ‘Belle’.

Here’s how it went down.


BFI Southbank doesn’t get a huge amount of premieres, but it’s not a bad spot, especially on a nice and sunny day. And I have photographed Their Royal Highnesses William and Kate there and separately Daniel Radcliffe – in a related note, refer later in journal.


That’s actually a pretty impressive list, even if you remove singers, presenters, Radio DJs, sportsmen, actors from other films, reality TV judges and people who were incidentally on TV once in a show you’ve (I’ve) never heard of.


“Please sign this! We don’t even care if you’re not in the movie!!”


Not only is Amma Assante involved in this movie, she’s the Director of it. That said… she might or might not sign that, whatever ‘that’ is. (In the absence of evidence, I’m going with “Thrash Metal LP from 1981”)


“I’m happy to sign, as long as you understand the film company’s lawyers won’t see it as my endorsement of your copyright infringement” I hear Amazon patented photographing something on a white background recently, so we’re all probably breaching copyright every time we adjust our backpacks.


Based on the fact that I’m not ageist, I would say on sheer confident posture and expression, that the short lady is a writer or producer of this film? No? Probably more likely she’s Cara Jenkins, then, who plays ‘Young Elizabeth’ in this film.


“I’m not sure what that is. If it’s a script by David S Goyer, it’s best to leave it alone.”. Side-note: I recently rewatched ‘Man Of Steel’. I’ll defend the awesome Hans Zimmer score, but that script needs a pen, a needle and a few gallons of gasoline and a match. (Also : there’s a premiere for “Belle” I should try to talk about).


Didn’t like “Man of Steel” either. She’s Gugu Mbatha-Raw and the fact that you or I might not have heard of her does not remove the fact that she’s had multiple episode character roles in about five TV series (none of which, other than Dr Who, I’ve heard of either) and numerous movie roles as well.


Ever since the first premiere I photographed him at, I’ve referred to Tom Wilkinson as ‘Crime Boss Falcone in Batman Begins’ but that reference is ageing more and more as that movie fades and Tom Wilkinson is both in a lot of movies AND attends a lot of premieres. Offhand, I’m remembering Rock’n’Rolla , Best Exotic Marigold Hotel , The Debt , Valkyrie , Duplicity , …. PLUS he was in Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol and The Lone Ranger , whether he attended those premieres or not.

Here, in contrast to his impressive filmography, he’s merely admiring the world’s longest arm.


It’s a TOM WILKINSON STAREDOWN!! (I got so excited I blinked immediately)


“If you really CAN save me as much off my monthly electricity bill as you claim, then here’s my personal number” In true form, I have no idea who this is, but a fair few people were calling out to get her autograph… or sell cheap electricity plans.


Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Sam Reid pose. Sam Reid, incidentally, was in (and at the premieres of.. I think) both Anonymous (2011) and The Railway Man (2013). He’s got a certain Tom Hardy vibe about him… insofar as he’s wearing a suit, I suppose.


I don’t know who these people are, but if you see them on the back of your carton of milk then let somebody know, because they’re not as missing as they might seem.


Among her roles in Steven Spielberg’s “Empire of the Sun”, Tim Burton’s “Sleepy Hollow” and… ummm… Joel Schumacher’s “The Phantom of the Opera”, Miranda Richardson was also journalist Rita Skeeter in two of the Harry Potter films.


I’m just going to stand here and bask, as my camera unleashes 8 frames per second on this posing. (While I threaten the Pentax with death if its autofocus screws up at its usual incompetence level)


Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Sarah Gadon need to start a rap/rnb duo right now just so DJs everywhere destroy themselves trying to pronounce their combined names properly.


“Well….gel, cell, quell, and pell-mell ALL rhyme with ‘Belle’. Whaddaya you got?”
“Umm…. ‘Bell’ rhymes with ‘Belle’?”
“…..Okay, I can work with that”


“Hi-five me, babe!!”
“I honestly don’t know what that means!!”
“Well, there goes our short lived rap/r’n’b duet career”


“We know your camera can do at least 8 frames per second, so your insistence upon us holding this pose so long has nothing to do with photography” well caught. I regret nothing.


In a transparently obvious attempt to justify yet more Sarah Gadon photos in this journal, I’m going to quickly opine that if Scarlett Johansson wants out of The Avengers, you could do a lot worse than Sarah Gadon. (Keira Knightley, randomly, and for instance, would be ‘doing a lot worse’).


“No, Grandma doesn’t know about all of the lace doilies that gave their lives to make this dress”


It’s Draco Malfoy, all grown up! Actor Tom Felton hit a major growth spurt by the time of the second or third Harry Potter film and started dangerously towering over Potter. (Slytherin House Green Edit courtesy of Photoshop). I think I last photographed him at the BFI Awards a few years back…. alternatively I photographed him hugging Dumbledore at the final Harry Potter at the Deathly Hallows Part2 premiere.


Way back in time at the BFI London Film Fetival in 2011 (12?) the lovely Sarah Gadon showed up for the premiere of Antiviral and I was disgusted to see she turned up in what looked like an Adidas tracksuit. Now, years later… she makes an effort and here I am, wearing a grey Lonsdale hoodie to her premiere. If we’re ever going to make a meaningful connection when we’re both looking our best, I’m going to have to look out to 2018 or 2019… but I’m not sure I can commit that far ahead.


It’s nice to see young Draco is mixing in with polite society after all these years (he had a bit of an ‘Eeeevil’ relapse in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but I think he’s fully over that now)


Once all the main stars had begun doing interviews across from me and showed little inclination to turn around, I headed up to Waterloo Bridge to check out the view and what I might have missed. It’s a nice view, but other than shots of people posing in front of the Paparazzi, it’s not that great.


Awww… cute dog watching the premiere. There aren’t enough pets at these events, I feel. (Sure, ‘Animals’ in the form of Autograph Dealers attend… but not benign and cute Jack Russells)


“I can’t believe after all these years people are still putting the death of Dumbledore on me. I was FRAMED, people!”. Not so much framed as he disarmed Dumbledore only for Snape to kill him (wait.. spoiler?)

So that was actually rather good. There are FIVE premieres in London next week… and somebody at multiple PR firms needs to get fired because THREE are on MONDAY and TWO are on WEDNESDAY. Surely that’s in no film’s interest? I for one can’t wait to throw a dart at a dartboard and figure out which one I’ll head to, if any.

Until next time then, it’s another one for The Archive of Movie Premieres
the last few of which included:

Edge of Tomorrow – Tom Cruise! Emily Blunt! Doug Liman!
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – Garfield! Stone! Foxx! DeHaan! Webb!
NOAH – Crowe! Aronofsky! Connelly! Watson! Lerman!
Divergent – Woodley! James! Winslet! Roth!

Journal Comments

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